Kisah sin chan!

kisah 1
tgh breakfast kat kedai mamak together with his parents. baru sampai, dia dah pau papa dia untuk beli 2 coklat. mase aku dah start mkn, dia suruh bukak satu coklat ...mula2 masuk dlm mulut dia pastu tiba2 jeh pegi letak atas roti canai aku..aarghh, mulala tuh. siap gelak2 lagi..takpe, amik tisu dan letak coklat tuh kat tepi sambung mkn balik. 2nd time, dia usaha bukak sendiri psl aku taknak tolong dah. same thing again, dia masuk dlm mulut kejap pastu letak atas roti canai aku. then gelak2. saje la tuh nak kacau org. dah abis coklat kat tgn, dia jln pegi kaunter mamak buat muka kesian kat situ. bile papa dia pegi amik, dah berjaya pau satu coklat lagi from mamak. free pulak tu. macam biasala, dia bukak dia letak dlm mulut pastu tadaaaa, dah ade atas roti canai aku...heeeeee, suka sgt dgr aku membebel kot.

kisah 2
petang or malam. lepak2 sambil tunggu papa dia balik. once dgr bunyi keta or bile mama dia ckp papa dah balik, cepat2 dia lari cari belakang kerusi. nak nyorok. kekadang excited sgt sampai tak tahu nak nyorok mane. kejap sini kejap situ. tak cukup duduk belakang kerusi, amik kusyen nak cover muka. so terpaksala papa dia 'carik' dia..bila lama sket cari tak jumpa, mulala dgr tiny giggles, konon nak kasi hint. one time, penat jeh dia lari nyorok bawah kerusi siap dgn kusyen sume, rupanya mama dia tersilap. bukan papa balik tp nenek (bibik) pegi buang sampah. marah dia...hehe

kisah 3
skrang tgh suka pakai superheroes suits. batman la, spiderman la, power rangers la. kalu pakai as pyjama okla cos long sleeves tp tak. nak pakai pagi petang siang malam kalu boleh. mama dia cerita, ade skali tuh bile sampai rumah tgk dia duduk kat luar dekat dgn ampaian. bile tanye bibik "ohh, dia tunggu baju batmannya kering"..isk isk isk budak nih..

kisah 4
instead of menangis nak ngikut, dia tahan aku dari keluar. skarang ni selalu keluar ikut dapur sebab senang. so 1st attempt dia block jalan ke dapur, nasib baik muat2 tangan and kaki dia nak spread out kat pintu tuh. aku pun buat2la angkat dia. 2nd attempt pegi sandar kat pintu dapur buat muka kesian. aiseh. ini terpaksala bayar tol.tol kosong jeh:p nasib tak nangis, kalu tak silap2 aku bwk dia jalan sama.

kisah 5
aku decided to bribe with M&M for going out without him. suke la dia bile tgk kat cermin mulut dia berubah2 ikut kaler coklat tuh. skali tgh gelak2 tuh, dia capai dua2 tgn aku pastu tadah bawah mulut dia. ingatkan ape, skali rupanya dia nak throw up. aiseh, nasibla tak banyak and liquid jeh.. kalu tak, silap2 aku pun join sekali. bile cite, mama dia ckp " ape nih man, gune tangan cik n*r, gunela tangan sendri "...ntahnye:p

kisah 6
dah mmg tahap kritikal dia kena jumpa barber. aku pun sukela gelakkan dia psl nmpk mischiveous sgt dgn rambut ala2 curly tuh. mama dia cite bukan senang nak potong rambut dia, silap2 malu jeh org tgk psl dia punye nangis mak aihh..so this time aku kena take over in case dia nak ngelat. alih2 dia rilek jeh kat atas kerusi wak, tak nangis pun...paling2 pun buat muka bile rambut masuk mata or mulut. tapi yg tak tahan tgk memek muka dia tahan geli dan takut. sket punye lawak, rugi tak bwk digicam. dah tak tahan dgn rambut sendiri yer??

kisah 7
bile makan, carik tissue.. time makan satay arituh, makan sesuap lap tissue. makan lagi, tissue lagi.. abis tissue kat tgn dia jeh. aku pun sempat amik satu jeh:p bibik cite, kekadang tuh mkn biskut pun nak tissue. heeeee mengadala sgt...

kisah 8
despite his age, he still talks gibberish. kekadang tuh aku pulak naik fed-up bile org tanye2, so aku ckp kat dia " tak kisahla man, man takleh ckp betul2 pun cikn*r sayang man jugakkk". puas hati. eh, tapi takdela aku ckp depan2 org lain, cari nahas la tuh namanye...

kisah 9
dia suka invent benda2 baru out of crap. teropong yg dah terbahagi dua, dia jadikan ala2 telefon and at the same time boleh gune jugak utk tarik toy box. skali tuh, bile dia nak call bibik, cepat2 dia amik kusyen letak kat tengah2 box tuh...mula2 aku pun tak paham, skali baru tau by right, we are not suppose to see the other's face if we are talking over the phone. so that's why kusyen tuh ade utk jadik wall between dia and bibik.

kisah 10
nanti dia akan dapat adik very-very soon. kalau deliver before aku balik melb lagi best. nak tgk cemana dia interact dgn adik dia pulak. jangan dia buli adik dia sudahhhh...

haih, kan best kalu dpt bwk dia teman aku kat melb nti..

kl was so-and-so. tired of waiting for ppl and transport that next time of hols, i'll settle for home and family only. a person of no patience. plus i dont have the heart leaving my lil sayang behind anymore (and there'll be two of them very soon). on monday i came to realise that i've been thru 4 days without rice and my sis-in-law complained i'm not eating like i used to. but as long as i dont feel sick, i dont really care.
in a week or so, i'll be flying back to melb. find it hard to hold back my emotion this time. for the past 3 years, i rarely shed tears at departure but as year goes by, its getting harder not to. and i find life per say, very tough.

day one.

random thoughts

>>>'i came to teach basketballers and you became students, i came to teach boys and you became men..thank you for that'..finally after almost half a year i got to watch this movie. blame my lacking download skills. regardless, enjoyed it much. what can i say? sports is more that just sweat and hardwork. more than games and victories.more like operating under pressure. mindset and how you put it into play. accepting falls and learn to stand up again.

>>>my aunt once said ' we often give advice that we dont use'..simply true. there are lotsa occasions when we, in the process of being a good listener would try our very best to say goodies to the other company with a single hope that it will at least alleviate their emotions if not solve their probs. but what happen when the same thing happen to us, or almost the same thing? we often forget to use the same advice we once tell the other. we sort of neglect the words we once believe in. that's why we still need each other no matter how good we think of ourselves, no matter how strong we think we are to brave the turbulence. those ppl become the reminder. of what we've told them before.

>>> regardless of the disturbing writings previously, i shall not forget that whatever happen, i always have HIM to turn to. to seek guidance and solace. i shall not forget that there are a lot of ppl out there who love and care about me. always and i cant thank them enough. i shall not forget the hikmahs behind the so-called-fiasco and how much it grows me up.

ei submitted my assignment yesterday. alhamdulillah, did better this time. it took me almost twice the effort as i chose to change the topic when i'm almost done with the template. didnt regret it though coz it was easier to do the calculation and reasoning with the second article.

>>>ppl live by choice. either in everyday living or for one big major decision that will determine their future. sometimes, its not that they dont know what's best to do and expect out of certain situation. sometimes it's not that they have lost the sense of values; rights or wrongs, goods or bads. but most of the time, the pick is based on emotions, experiences and personal strength.

>>>i am not to justify why i choose to grieve. by that it means

i learn to live with tiny expectations.

i distant myself from meanings of companionship, trust, hope, self-worthiness.

i take all the blame as something to dwell over and hope it will put others at ease.

i accept the fact that i'm not gifted with an angel's heart and i actually hate to act like one.

>>>thanks very much Peon for ur concern and sincere thought. wish could spend some more time with you here. have a safe journey and keep the spirit high.

ape yg jadi baru2 nih gives big impact in my life. as said, damned for life. terus terang, aku dah hilang cara utk rasa happy. hati aku dah tak tenang, anytime aku boleh lost in my own thought. living in fear and insecurities, exactly how i felt. honestly aku rasa kalu tak kuat pegangan, aku boleh jadik gila bila ingat dan fikir psl benda ni. apa yg selama nih aku tak pernah terfikir mungkin terjadik. mungkin ye, mungkin tidak aku pun tak tahu. dan aku takut utk tahu. takut sgt2.. for me, nothing will be the same again. walaupun mungkin juga takde ape, tapi ape yg hilang tuh dah tak boleh dicari balik.
sebab benda nih, aku hilang self-esteem. vulnerable. sekejap aku rasa dah ok tapi tak lama. aku tak looking forward to mingle around and meet other ppl. aku rasa byk benda aku dah tak deserve utk dpt. rasa tak worthy.
tapi jangan risau, aku takkan susahkan korang dgn probs aku. sebab aku taknak simpati tuh jadi beban dan lama2 beban tuh mungkin akan buat org benci..takpe, selama nih apa2 jadi aku go thru sorang2...
sesapa yg aku pernah buat salah, minta maaf. sesapa yg aku penah susahkan, minta maaf. minta maaf sgt2...