Nikmat Iman

dah lama nak tulis pasal nih. something i always ponder everytime i stumbled. how Allah has make it a lot easier for us, HIS servants to sail our life.

each and everyone of us has been, is and will be tested by HIM. at some stage, at some point of life. there's no exceptional cases. there's no justification for us to question why some ppl are having less burdens and looks happier than us cos we just dont know what's going on with their life. even if they're, they may have had their share in the past, or even in the future. my point is, we are the same. HE does not spare anyone to be tested.

but Allah also ease our pain with iman. when we strongly believe that nothing happen for nothing. Allah takkan menjadikan sesuatu itu sia-sia. that's what i've been holding on for quite some time. from living experience, i know it sounds too petty when our probs are crushing our life and we just dont know how to take another day. the feelings are fair, but with iman we learn the ways to be a true muslim(ah). we learn to take it as another test from Allah, we learn that Allah will always love us no matter what, we learn that life in this world, after all is very very transient.

when we've grasped that, the probs are no longer hiccups for us and we slowly lead the day as though nothing has ever happened before. we are no longer looking at life as we used to.

for me, that's a nikmat. a pleasure.

Why 10 hours?

The place may not give me sense of familiarity, but the stranger-ness makes me forget the excess baggage in life. to be lost in the crowd, i find peace with mind. the un-known atmosphere makes the known bitterness less significant. the struggle to survive and make every single effort worthwhile outgrow the sinking grimace. it's like setting myself free and find solace in a totally different world. bingo.

everyday, new ppl new experiences new feelings i brought home. some are to be smiled to, some are to be taken as daily lessons. how easy when u take life that lightly, when u firmly believe it is so transient to be worried about, and yet you are determined to make the best out of it.

i am proud of myself, for being able to.

Strength of faith

percayalah, Allah takkan menjadikan sesuatu itu dengan sia-sia.

"Happiness comes in many forms. in the company of good frens. in feelings u gave when u make someone else's dream comes true. or in the promise of hope renewed. its ok to let urself be happy, because u'll never know how fleeting that happiness might be. " - OTH 0412.

Say nothing at all..

Maybe getting over someone you're in love with isn't impossible. Unless, maybe you don't actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it. - Felicity-

she watched the movie and quoted it for me. how did i answer her?

'haah, betul. aku tak dapat nak let it go tapi aku just learn to live with it'.

to put a name to something.

"makcik ada rasa macam jantung terbakar tak?"

Yang Syiok

pagi-pagi sebelum pergi, i gave my parents hugs and pecks. everyday.

ape-ape nak makan time lunch, semua aci boleh. tak payah nak inquire cashier, tak payah nak tilik ada meat ke tak. harga pun boleh tahan...

hospital macam pasar raya. tak putus2 orang berlegar-legar. so takdela rasa isolated sgt.hehe

colleagues. welcoming. i guess what i really enjoy seeing is the harmonious multiracial community. cute betul bila ch!nese cakap melayu.

senang sgt nak solat. tak perlu risau utk cari empty room or space. sgt dipermudahkan.

Yang Kurang Syiok

kena pakai lab white coat. urghhh, panassssss!! maafla, bukan nak kipochi tp slame ni tak pernah kena pakai...

i thought to converse with the patient in English is tough enough, but in kelantanese....huwaaaaa,SUSAHHHHHHHHHHH!! asik uhhh ahhhh uhhh ahhhh taktahu nak translate cemana. hence the above dialogue(ok, obviously it doesnt come from me cos i'm doing O&G,heheh). but its true, you'll never know how tricky it is until u give the 1st attempt. weihhh hani, serious aku kena kasi crash course utk ko learn to speak kelantanese,hihihihi!!

it's not that easy to fit in.hmm

i really appreciate the learning opportunity but 2 hours of slides presentation? i'm sorry but my attention span couldnt sustain that.

So, i agree

"...dah go thru a lot of major sufferings. i lost my loved ones. parents, abang2 semua dah takde. so bila macam tu, life becomes so transient to me. hidup nih hanyalah sebagai musafir.bila rasa mcm tuh kan, dah tak peduli ape orang kata. nak kata ape pun, katalah."

" It's very hard when the enemy is your family. you cannot hate them"

" Life nih macam boxing ring. we are the boxers and our life is our opponent. we fight. kita lawan pastu kita jatuh, kita bangun balik. sebab tuh mat salleh selalu ckp i'm at your corner. these people yg akan support kita. they care and love us very much. diorg nih ape tak buat? bagi kita minum air, ckp strategi mcm mana nak lawan opponent kita, lap peluh kita, sampaikan gigi palsu kita pun diorg tadah dgn tangan sendiri. sayangnye dekat kita. we dont have to justify anything to them, they already know. tp ada juga org2 yg kat luar ring tuh, yang tak buat ape. tunggu kita jatuh jeh. we dont need these people in our life."

" It's true when ppl said the opposite of love is not hate, but dont care. because when you hate you still have feeling, but when you dont care you lose the feeling"

"Cheers for ur courage, smile and live on."

"To love means letting go."

"You could not live other people's life. pray that good sense will prevail."

"...berdosa sangat tp tak boleh. bila teringat tu, datang rasa nak marah. tak boleh nak lupa".

17/18th Feb

This coming CNY hols is the next big thing. there'll be wedding reception for me my brother, which equates to BIG FAMILY GATHERING. looking forward!! can't wait to meet the familiar faces, to enjoy the great company and be part of the crowd.

the reception itself wont be big and glamorous, but i will have great time working with the aunties and cousins. tradition of working hand in hand. jokes and helps. i'll be too occupied to snap away pictures though ;-(

so hani, it'll be ur 1st weekend here. i will try my best to make u feel at home. memula risau juga takut aku tak sempat nak entertain and bring u around but i'm sure u'd love to experience kampung style of wedding kan? and worry not, there's wi-fi to keep u connected ( and has been keeping me sane,hehe). and heck, we can do some shopping spree after that...ohh, i love!*bling bling bling* insya Allah, there'll be nice suprise for you that weekend too. hopefully, she manages to book the ticket.

anyone else coming to kelantan this CNY hols?

Good or Bad

News 1: Seeing how things are at the moment, i wont make it to KL this weekend for N0rma's wedding. I feel bad for not being able to keep my promise and i'm so not happy =(

News 2: So it's true, we'll be receiving the back-dated allowance. will be AUD*000 richer sooner. FUH! syiokkknye.

on another note altogether, i'd like to get hold of E.R and starw@rs. complete set. anyone care to show me how or kind enough, make them available to me? ok, forget the latter. it's painfully wishful. pretty please to those who can help, nonetheless.

ohh and hani-izhar, look out for my next entry.

Tiny updates

My parents' home. alhamdulillah=)

I'll be starting my fifth year, my final year this coming sunday(hmm, after 13 years of having Sunday as day off). It's HUSM and i'm thinking of driving *WORRY* It'll be O&G rotation and i havent got my books back from M's cargo*DISASTER* =(

I havent bought the ticket yet to attend N0rma's wedding. I hope very much to be in KL next weekend, time to reunite with the M0nash clan =)

I miss my laptop =(

I am so looking forward to CNY hols =)

Affiliation

Read this. Something i haven't been able to put into words, but she truly speaks my mind.

Going For A Sleep

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA

well, this wasnt the first time i celebrated it without my parents. each time with different people, different sense of responsibility(it was none prior to this one), different feelings and different settings. i dont get to miss them much this time, only while listening to the takbir n getting ready for the prayer. my brothers and sisters did a good job to keep me occupied and entertained. for our family, we have fun with board/UNO games. It's been the tradition for raya or any gathering. it was a quiet raya but fine in its own way..

JANUARY, 1ST

I dont celebrate new year and i dont believe in new year resolutions. I dont wanna write about last year and i dont wanna say anything about this year.

'You are too young not to believe that it's gonna be fine'
~0ne Tree H!ll~