i dunno..maybe i'm living in denial...maybe its all rumours and nothing's actually gonna happen..at this point, ignorance is a bliss for me...i cant take it for any reason, even to think of the possibilities for it to happen make me feel sick..the only strength i have now are my little prayers and those who's been there for me...otherwise,God knows what would happen to me..
needless to say, at the same time i learnt the invaluable hikmahs behind it...tho i might be living in insecurities and fear for all my life thinking and worrying about this, i'll keep on praying for the good thing..silent prayers sent to me, very much appreciated=)

on another note, i'll be visiting my preggie sis in kedah tomorrow..spend a few days there...then back home before going to kl ..so peon, see u at the wedding reception(syhhhh tau!!) and hani-izhar, msgkan contact no in msia so that we can plan up something..anything, i'm using the old 017...

cos of the news/rumours this morning, my hols came to its end.damn sad and confused. tears couldnt find their way and i couldnt bring myself to look into the eyes. not hatred but i wish i never got asked about it. SIGH. i hate to be noble and i hate to pretend..i am one hell of selfish and if this news is to be true, i am damned for life.

life has been really really good to me for the past week. wish i've written the experiences earlier so that it'll be full of joy and contentment. staying home and caring for the 3 lil boys of nephew and cousins...balik kg, met the old folks, played with lil cousins and ate my fav dish...reunited with my childhood fren whom i last saw in form 3 and just got married last saturday, catched up with things.all breeze for me. life was soooooo perfect that last nite, i thot it couldnt be true. life couldnt be this smooth and there need to be something bad. just when i thot, it then happened..

i soo wanna erase the conversation. i soooo wanna be invisible. i soooo wanna pour it all. but the decision isnt mine tho. no matter how much i hate it, it still can happen and i'll be damned for life.

quiet.

Captured...

'syakir nak ape cik N balik nih?'
'gambar steven gerrard ade?'
'erkkk, adui'
twice i got the same reply..printing the pics from internet wasnt so appealing so i ended up buying a football mags with gerrard mini poster..he's at the airport when i arrived and the next day, i gave him the mags..pleased to see the happy face and how excitedly he flipped thru the pages, shared his idea about soccer with his Tok Ayah (my Ayah Mie)..later he came up to me
'thank you'
'eh for what?'
'for this'*sheepish smile*
heeeee...

********
uptown girl..she's been living in an uptown world...
as far as i can remember, he' been into this song since 4 years old. at that time, he would bug me to play the song on the computer and hum along. this summer, its this same song he excitedly asked me about and play it again and again on the computer.

********
'jom syakir, esok kite lawan main games''
heheh, nak main game ape?''
hmmm, football la''reti ke??' *chehh*
'eeee retilaaa..nti cik N kalahkan syakir,haaaaaa;p'
'okk'
after 1 mins and he's leading by 1 goal, he asked my cousin to take over me..huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
*******
'murah je nih ma..'
'nih berapa nih kalu duit kite?'
'hmmm, **rm..'
'uhhhh, mahalnye..comel, knapa beli satu jeh?'
'aikk ma, tadi kata mahal pastu tanye apsal beli satu..haahhaaha, mane satu nih?'
*******
'ape dia ma?'
'esok ma abah raya, dah habis pose...kita celebratelaa masak laksa penang..pagi tuh nasi lemak'
'YEAYYYYYYYY!!'
*******
11 am...
'cik N, syakir nak tgk cite hantu'
'cite ape? cite hantu hindustan nak?'
'hmmm, x kisahla..'
aku belek2 vcd
'haaa, syakir cite hantu jepun nak? Ju-On..'
'takut ke?'
'hehe, x tahu..cik N pun x tgk lg''
bolehlaa, mane selimut?''
'hahahahaahahh, takutla tuhh..tuh ade selimut..amik cik N satu'

later,
'haaa cik N x tgk,takutla tuhh!!'

'mmgla cik N takut...nak tgk sebelah mata jeh'

i would trade the world to be home...

not another drama queen episode...

you are right. i was the one who gave up on things without knowing ur reasons. and may i add that i was the one who created arguments and made big fuss over stuff. so its actually me who is troublesome, never knows how to appreciate things and ignorant over other ppl's concerns and probs. i've been selfish all this while and i'm so ashamed of myself.never would i know that being straightforward can actually mislead because wrongly used words and end up accusing u harshly. put the blame on me coz i make u feel not good enough for a frenship.wish i could say more than sorry..

if u are to hate me for this, i understand.i failed to be a good fren.before i stop, there are things i'd like to thank u; for being there to cheer me up whenever i'm feeling down, for putting up with my temperamental attitude and never complain and for trying to do good to me. life would never be the same then...

NUMB...

no matter how much i regret over my doings, the damage is done...i learnt the lessons in hard way...sigh

for that, i deserved to be blamed and hated =|

TONITE...

is my last nite in melbourne before flying home for summer hols insya Allah..looking back, this is the most ENRICHING year so far and i can proudly say that i'm a SURVIVOR in the journey..those who's been reading this for the past year would have the idea why i said that..quoted from A,how time flies fast this year and franskston is now history to me..what started as resented placement had filled me with great satisfaction and sweet memories..

yes, there were a lot of trying times and emotional breakdown was part of the viscious cycle..up to a point, i almost lost grip=( but there were always be someone around the globe who reminded me that never would i be alone in this journey..and i couldnt thank them enough..and Allah will never test HIS servant for nothing..

throughout, i metamorphed..mistakes learnt, flaws accepted, people appreciated and to HIM i surrender myself...no matter how trying time it is, i managed to survive,alhamdulillahh..

i know i've hurt a lot of ppl for my bad temper and ignorant..egoist i can be but deep inside, guilty conscience wins its way..


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


i owe my great time in frankston especially to these 3 blokes..for all their non-judgemental respect, charming smile, brotherly concern and dogdy-but-laughable jokes i will miss them..

also to all the tutors: Serpell, Langton, Botha, Russell, CLeves, O'Donnell, Wassertheil, Fiddes..thank you so much!

p/s..pls pray for my safe journey..anything, reach me through my no.

Rescue 999!!!

erkkk yelppp!!..used to have my mum backk home for the past 2 years and M has been helping me to do it (she did 90% of the task actually) when she's around this year..now that M is already in msia, nobody's gonna be there me this time..no, i'm not trying to be bossy but i do have probs with it..yeah, i did try but things usually wont fit in all and when its time to unload, they will be all over the place, huwaa!! thats why i prefer ma or M to do it for me..neat n spacious..
this morning, started to sort things out, which and where..end up with piles of stuff on the bed and an empty bag..huhuhu, i grumbled to myself a few times and hopelessly looked at the bag. urgh, i dont mind spring cleaning the closet and drawers but ..what should i do next??

Z: mcm nih...ko masukkan dulu brg2 nak bawak balik dlm beg..
Y: laaa, cemana?? xkan nak campak2 jeh?
Z: xdela..ko masukkan jehla dulu...pastu letak tepi..then dah abis kemas yg kat umah nih susunla balik benda dlm beg tuh..
Z: ohhhhhhhh....

grrr, wonder how did i survive my years in ser! puter! and KMB doing this for every hols?? isk!

B!C RUNGA-courtesy of Onie

She left on a Monday
She's a siren down the road
In your herringbone overcoat
That you don't expect to get back

And it's an ordinary sky
Today's like any other day
When all of the aeroplanes
Write her name in the clouds

And nothing's wrong
But it's already Sunday
And you know just how Sunday
Was the day that she would come around?

Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her

It's all like sinking
You're trying to stay afloat
Like a wind blown paper boat
Over uncharted sea

There's no question why
You're driving to kill some time
Racing the power lines
Back into town

Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her

Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
Make this easier on her

p/s..nice song..go listen

=)

alhamdulillah, i'm done with the OSCE exam...woke up with throbbing pain on my head,thought that i would screw up if the exam was in the morning..tried to sleep on the pain again and soaked my head with water (mum's tips)..then had my breakfast and took some painkillers..alhamdulillah, by the time to go to CMHSE, the pain wasnt as bad...

12 stations of 8 mins each...i'm not really at my top spirit to perform..just wanna get it over with..again, Allah helped me A LOT..solace and guidance..HE didnt put me in panic situation that i can think well and answer the questions as best as i can. also, the examiners' were nice and not of the stern-looking-faces-that-freaks-me-out...i know i may not be doing as thoroughly as its supposed to be, but thats the best i can do..and i have faith in Allah...

now, apart from praying hard for the results, i'm gonna occupy myself with
-my mates here. laze around, go out and cherish our time
-updates on the fotopages for raya pics
-spring cleaning of the house and wardrobe
-shopping spree
-do a checklist;)

ok, gonna make a lil announcement...teng teng teng!


i'm going back to msia this 28hb..wheeeeee!! special shout out to
hani-izhar:weh, balik christmas kan? jumpa yok!!
peon:yeay, bolehlepak dgn ko lagi..harituh kejap sgt laa;)
peah: i know u care about me..so u wont nag me for this, rite?? *muka sememeh minta dikasihani*

erkkk, do i hear someone screaming my name out loud?? better run and hide myself =p

HEADACHE

I dont know why but seems like i've been suffering from this pain for a few times lately. its not the usual headache that self-limiting. ok, this one may not be as bad as the last time but it still bother me coz it HURTS...how to describe the pain?

'rasa macam ade angin dlm kepala..berdenyut gile...everytime stand up or bendkan kepala..otak macam disqueeze byk2 kali...badan akan seram sejuk..kekadang rasa macam ade ruang kosong dlm skull...mmg akan demam kalu biar jeh sakit tuh..'

it could be the heat of summer...it could be the late meals...it could be the pressure..it could be anything

biarlahh...

HOW WAS IT?

the questions were..how should i say..tough and tricky??. couldnt think of any other words that better described the written exam this morning...why?
- it was an extended multiple-choice questions (EMQ) where we had a cluster of questions with a long list of possible answers.some of the choices given were up to X or Y..so you really have to choose the BEST answer for each scenarios..and mind you, the descriptions were very much similar to each other.even if they were not, we still need to think hard for the obscure ones..jargon? countless=(
- it tested our knowledge for the WHOLE year..and studying the integrated system of medicine means we've got every possible things to be asked in the exam..if this question was on clinical, the next one might be on pathology..and the next one? pharmacology..huhuh..and for this time around, we had whole lot of surgical and medical rotation to cover..yes, u can argue that we've much less exam period (like this time it was only a week) but the pressure? triple if not quadriple..
- personally, this exam was no more about how much we can memorise things but rather tested ur understanding on the particular topic. we can no longer rely on the basic knowledge about this illness and its clinical presentation but of how it happen and every details bits of everything..tough? u bet..
- yes, we know that there'll be a lot of past years' from the experiences but sadly, we dont get hold of the papers. so no matter how much we listen to the seniors about which topic to focus on,it will still be very broad..and yes, this is the only written exam that carry marks for our 3rd year final assesment *sigh*...

having said all that,i've given my best shot for this exam. eventho there's minor panic attack last saturday coz i was behind my revision plan and some nagging thought at the back of my head,alhamdulillah i managed to get it over with. i owed it to the short meaningful sms replies from my families and good wishes from other ppl. but most importantly is the Al-Mighty.Allah helps me to pull this thru with HIS endless guidance and bestowed me with solace before and while doing the exam...alhamdulillahh. things wouldnt be the same without HIM by my side. berkat doa parents n semua yang lain;) as quoted from abg ngah' 50% dari ape yg ngah dapat sekarang nih daripada ma dan abah' and i felt the same way too..all in all, done my best so its time to pray and tawakkal..

exam habit? for as long as i can remember, i never fancy any discussion outside the exam hall...before sitting for the paper, i prefer to sit alone at a corner than joining the crowd to avoid unnecessary panic attack..and after the exam? its already done so no point in going over it again i reckon..so i'd leave the place as quietly as possible. another habit would be the uncompromised sleep. yep, i can let go of my meals (not that often tho:p) and leisure things but not this one. my brain stop ticking after midnite. sometimes i do feel that i'm disadvantage from extra study hours but i've no complaint for this=)

post-entry
i had nightmate about the paper last nite...urghhh!!

NICE LITTLE BREAK

40 mins on the phone with him was really nothing. we talked like nobody's bussiness. started off with him asking about my return, rambling about this movies and that games.... i teased him when i asked whether he has any gf. its funny how he sheepishly changed the expression from 'kawan baik perempuan' to 'kawannn' and i laughed hard by then. next was the AF gossips...i dont have any idea how he managed to know a lot about it, seriously.. then he amused me with his passion about football, chanted a few names that i wouldnt know..recited the www dot liverpoolfc dot com thingy when i asked about his steven gerrard..haihhh, he's way too errr young for that *geleng kepala*..

we day-dreamed if we ever have the chance to travel to UK or london, as he put it;) him chasing the photograph of the soccer players and me going shopping..lalala would be fun!! "nanti kalu sesat macam mana?" "alaaa, syakir kan pandai cakap omputeh.u can ask for direction"..

and i took the chance to tease him(again!) about the food he can't take after his 'big event'..
"aaaaaaaaaa, brape lama xleh makan tuh??"

ohh, i love my 8-year-old-nephew xoxo

FINAL EXAM CHECK LIST

21st nov- Written exam (they pull a year of syllabus into this ONE freaking paper *pengsan*)

24th nov-OSCE

Ya Allah, we seek for your guidance...

till then, take care and pls pray for our success *hugs*

WHEN PICTURE SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS

Eid prayer, Monash sports centre

ready, not?

at kak sajar's

at kak azie's

on the way to moriah's st

third year meddies clan-evelyn st

gossip corner:p -evelyn st

fourth year clan-evelyn st


weeeeeeee, ribena-berry girls

at hafiz & k syaja's

maybe i should tune in to exam mode now..haihhhhhh =(

CHERISHED...

more piccies to come=)

CRANKY WISDOM TOOTH

'Kak yatt tak tido ke?'
'Ohh tido..kejap jeh..xleh tido...sakit gigi'

seriously tak best...since semalam lg dah sakit tp by the time nak tido, which is around 3am dah ok dah..tp pukul 5 terjaga sbb panas and sakit..terus xleh tido..*sigh* so much for the hari raya..

i dont really mind if its not for the food i'm aiming to feast on;) especially the long-craving satay that we managed to prepare last nite..

*off with lil-bit-of-bad-mood-due-to-lacking-sleep.DND?*

NAK BALIKKKKK...

yesterday was our last terawikh and this morning had our last sahur for his Ramadhan. yes, i'm going to miss this holy month..may Allah gives me the chance to experience it again next year, insya Allah..

called home twice today.. huhuhu, my heart suddenly yearned to be with those familiar faces..to enjoy those familiar laughter and to share the beauty of familyhood. hmm, another price to pay for choosing to study abroad i guess..

mental imagination while on the phone: syakir tgh main games dgn abg ipar..abg long, cik yah, ayah mie and ayah zie(later substituted by abg ngah) main scrabble (level-up?) ...adui, sure macam2 kutukan n lawak yg keluar tuh..semua dah jadik mak n bapa org tp perangai ya Allahh..heheh...abg yu plak jd tukang tengok and tukang gelak ...mesti meriah punyelah rumah tuh..bising jehh..huhuh..man-man aka sinchan tgh main dgn toys dia..sombong taknak ckp tefon..abah n ma were occupied with some other stuff...but lucky we had this technology that let me view them online just now..ohh, missing my loved ones=(

hmm, alhamdulillah raya this year is much better than the previous year. tho i'm not really looking forward for the celebration, at least i've got no reason to be overly-sad..i'd say the highlight of my raya will be to hear abah's takbir through the phone..

and to all ...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN

MAY ALLAH BLESS US

*SIGH IN RELIEF*

i'm FINALLY done with my notes-typing. huhuhu, it's been bugging me for the past 2 weeks or so and became one of the reason for my restlessness..but alhamdulillah, managed to finish it within my aim. reason? coz i wanna print them out for free at the hospital tomorrow.hehehe. yup, as non-so-relevant-reason as it can be..but care not, its called personal satisfaction..ohh i'm supposed to be able to finish it by yesterday but blame my sleepy head :p

but the down side of it is- run out of idea to write here..hmmm, cant think of anything instantaneous and my earlier thought is no longer appealing..alahaii =(

at this point of time, i'm having good tempation to laze around on my bed, A & M are busy studying for their final exam tomorrow (great, EId's eve:p) and all of us are listening to raya songs. ohh, i attempted to give hints/suggestions of what to focus for their exam based on my previous experiences but errr seemed like i confused them even more...haihhh, so much for an average student.

not gonna wish the famous greetings yet.

*off to become ayam golek*

WHEN I WAS ABOUT

to sleep after non-stop yawn, A asked me a question..out of the blue moon. i was actually so sleepy and ready to doze off, but somehow this familiar question caught me up. i blurted some words, the usual ones when ppl asked me about it..it sounded easy and simple, but come to think of it..would i actually do as said? hmm, no idea..
this thing, put me into double personality..i can choose either to be positive or pessimist about it..most of the time, i keep the positive thought to myself, and saying out dismissive statement loud. no, nothing of sympathy-seeker but i learnt to live with no expectation...
back to the conversation with A and M..one question after another..in between, we laughed and teased each other..ok, more or so teasing me actually..haihh, that FedEx stuff was such an idea but nope, it wasnt at all like what they thought...very sure about that..
in the end when i could no longer resist the temptation to close my eyes, i said
"haaa korang kalu esok aku sedih ke..rasa nak nangis ke..jagalaa"
and when they asked why
"yelah..dok happy2 gelak2 nih, mesti lps tuh sedih..siap aa korang buat aku gelak byk2 mlm nih:p"

and today, i started to miss home. dah kata dahh..

POST-ENTRY (warning: self-obsessed entry, again?)...

she's like my sister and has always turn to her whenever i feel like telling someone about stuff..so when

me: aaa??? so yatt nih no bape yg tahu?
me: early birds??
sis: haah
me: flattered la mcm nih
sis: 2nd person to know..yg kat ____ ni la
me:*blushed*
sis: hehehe
me: sape 1st? nyebok nih
me: im soo sooo happy for u
sis: heheheh..thanx thanx..smlm overwhelmed tul rase..nervous
sis: baru tau smlm
me: sape yg 1st tau?
me: heheh jahat x yatt
sis: *smile*
sis: one of the girls..but not my _______..heheh
sis: tp jgn ckp diorg yatt tau dulu..kang abis kena marah..hehe
me: eh of course takkan
me: but being second is like..the sweetest thing
met: *smile*
sis: heheh..mula nk ckp dgn yatt dulu smlm..but mcm idle je
me: alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ye ke
sis: haah..heheheh
me: opss ...trase sgt2 flattered nih
sis: *Giggles: Hee Hee*
me: the thot that u actually thinking of me
me: *blushed*
sis: yes..i do think of u *wink*
me: *sis's name*, u surely know how to make me happy & feel good about myself

1st person she thought of telling the news? i'm deeply touched coz just when i thot...

WHINGE TO SELF

sakit bahu..sakit bahu..sakit bahu..
sakit tengkuk..sakit tengkuk..sakit tengkuk
penat..penat..penat
nak pengsan!!

oh satu lagi..malas mandi!!!

*deep sigh*

BAJU RAYA OH BAJU RAYA

tergelak2 aku baca ape ma tulis..cant wait!

that was 2 days ago..yesterday another parcel arrived from a fren...hmmmm, somehow i feel pampered...

on another note, its my cousin who did the misscall last time....nyehnyehnyeh, shuld've guess but pardon my slow brain..so i know who to call/msg back when this happen again =)

LITTLE VOICE THAT WARM MY HEART
him-helloooo
me-hellooo, syak!r ke nih?
-hmm, sape nih?
-nih cik n*r,heheh..syakirrrrrrr..
-(him telling his papa)..cik n*r, cik n*r..bile nak datang ke malaysia?
- (???)ohh, hahahahahah..

me-syak!r dapat birthday card cikn*r kasi??
him-emmm dapat, yg gambar (x dgr sgt) tuh ke??
-aaa?? heheh,haah..dapat hadiah ape birthday?
-macam2...ade colour, story books, toys..
-wahhhhhhhh, banyaknye..toys ape dapat?
-macam2la... (mention a few names that i'm not familiar:p)
-dah x main ultraman ke??
-takkk..
-(cehh)..syak!r nak present ape from me?
-hmm, ape2 jeh..anything...tapi xnak baju dah
-hahahahhahhahha (dah pandai demand yeh budak nih!)

after terputus line
me-apesal k!r??
him-hihihihihi, battery habis.
-dah charge belum?
-belummmmm..malasss..hihihih
-hahahaha, adeke malasss..

him-harituh mase 1st month puasa(adei, ayat berbelit budak nih:p), syakir pengsan
me-haaa? ye ke..kat mana? skolah ke rumah?
-kat skola..syak!r x sedar 10 mins...pastu ade sorang budak tuh nama (ape ntah) kejut2 syakir..x bangun..lps tuh syak!r bangun
-(huh, betui ke tidak nih..ntah2 kelentong :p) heheh, ke syak!r tido??? knape pengsan? lapar ke?
-haah...jatuh atas lantai pun x sakit
-ohh,alahaiii...

me-huhuhu, c!k n*r x balik raya tau...x jumpe tok ma..xde makanan sedap2
him-haaaa?? ye keee...emmm,raya kat australia ke?
-haah,huhuhu..sedihhh nanti
-ye ke??? alaaaaa...
-tuhla nanti syak!r kena makan utk cikn*r tau..kena makan bla, bla, bla...ingat tuh
-(gelak comei)..banyaknyeeee..
-yelahh, cikn*r nak syakir makan sampai buncit..nanti kalu balik tgk syak!r x buncit, cikn*r tanye kenapa..
-alaaaaa, mana boleh buncit..hihihihi

him-ohh, nant! cikn*r datang ke malaysia ke kelantan??
me-(hahahahha!!) kelantan tuh kat malaysia la sayangg....

me-so u want either toys or storybooks for ur present?
him-haah, tapi tapi xnakla toys..yang macam...ape tuh??...barbie ke
-lol..barbie is for girl laaaa..adeke nak belikan dia barbie..
-(gelak comei lagi)

me-syak!r, syak!r bukak pose dgn ape?
him- hmm, (not so clear again)...
-haaa?? mkn ape tuh??
-(him asking his papa'papa,nak ckp sweet sour tuh ape?')
-ohh,sweet sour...heheh

him-ohh ye ke? hmmm, kalu boy lagi best laaa..
me-ehh ape pulakkk...cikn*r nak girl..syak!r kan dah ade syahman..kasila girl pulak..bolehla cikn*r belikan barbie utk dia...
-hehehehe, okla okla kite vote
-hahahhaah, nak vote? macam mana?
-kite votelah..kalu dapat boy ,haaa.. hihihih

oh dear....

THE SEVEN

7 things you plan to do before you die:

1.Sempurnakan rukun haji & ibadah umrah.
2.Be a good daughter to my parents and pamper them with unconditional love.
3.Get married,have my own kids(wont get confused with number this time:p) and lead a modest but happy family.
4.Specialise in *dunno yet* and keep the interest in medicine growing.
5.Travel around Europe and some other historical places.
6.Appreciate people and things around me.
7.Seek for forgiveness from Allah.

7 things i cannot do

1.Anything forbidden by syariah.
2.Pretend. never.
3.Accept any destructive remarks. i'll bark!
4.Draw pictures.Frustrating.
5.Look into the eyes when i'm angry/mad/sad.
6.Lay up in basketball. sadly.
7.Stay up late. At most is 2am, coz my brain just stop functioning.

7 things i can do

1.Call my mum just to hear her voice.
2.Admit my mistakes and say my apologies.
3.Give cold shoulder to ppl. yes, i am evil.
4.Shopping alone. did it a few times and hasnt really bothering me much.
5.Cook tomyam without using instant perencah *smug*
6.Be impulsive. for bad or good reasons.
7.Listen to people.

7 celebrities crushes (teng teng teng!!):

1.Ah Wai in "Flames" (chinese series back in 1994)
2.Ah Kin in "Cold Blood Warm Heart" (another chinese series, 1997)
3.R0syam Noor, hehehe..
4.Ak0 Mustapha, hehehe jugak
5.Hero in "All About Eve" (korean series)
6.Eric Bana in "Troy"
7.Err fahr!n Ahmad? Faizal Yusop. tak kenal? xpe, x glamer pun:p

7 often repeated words:

1.Takpe, ........
2.Aaaalamakk!!
3....pengsan...
4.Aaaa tak tau.
5.Hmmmm,...
6.ok,...
7.Ya Allah,..

7 things that attract me to the opposites:

1.Keep good track of solat 5 waktu.
2.Muka bersih. x perlu hensem.
3.Specky (peon!! does this ring a bell??hahaha)
4.These three ideal things.. no idea? nvm;)
5.Manage to handle me. you know what i mean;)
6.Good sense of humour.
7.Thoughtful, but not with typical sweet talk. iyek!

7 tags:

can i not? coz i think most of my list are either: done this/been tagged by others/busybees.

IF THERE'S ONE WORD...

that will put me off, this is it: poyo. somehow, i have bad impression about this four letters. i mean, why on earth would u say something so destructive towards other ppl?? and yes ppl, i'll be very offended upon hearing it. i can either snap back or ignore u completely. yes, i can.

sensitive? hell yeah.

PSSTTT...

amidst my work, managed to exchange some juicy messages with my dearest tassie fren. courtesy of frenster;) and there i was, giggling and gasping...hahaha, this girl surely knows how to entertain me with her never-ending-stories-and-ramblings...she's so full of expression, if that explains my good laugh reading all those..and u wouldnt believe what we actually ranted about..rest assured, its nothing of lovey-dovey cliche'..we have other big mission to work on at this moment..this surely make me feel so good that i couldnt stop smiling...oh well, maybe i'm just easily amused..

and at the point of writing this, i'm IMing with peon, my partner in crime/gossip since high school..we can talk about anything under the sun, if time permits ;)

sometimes i believe that its much easier to keep a frenship when the other party is a distance away..absence makes the heart grows fonder is one thing, but vulnerability of getting overboard is another...agree??

DAY BEFORE WEEKEND

continued on the notes this morning...but before long, i had my hands clicking here and there, checking mails and blog hopping=D went to campus with a good intention, that was to buy some postcard raya..hahah, i was running out of proper kad raya but stingy enough to use my collections of postcards..then rushed to the post office ..erk, can i make it to the bus loop in 3 mins?? i had 2 classes to attend this afternoon...

opss, i missed the bus. panting and puffing, tried to call my housemate who's supposed to be home coz i dont have the key, only to get into the voicemail. so i went to the library while waiting for the other housemates to finish their lectures. wohoo, found 4 chick flick novels and ended up borrowing them all. hmmm, what a good way to distract myself. sat on the couch next and flipped thru the pages. this basketball movie was on tv. it looked good. might get hold of it some time later.

ohh, ive been tagged by 3 good ppl to do the 7 things meme..lalalala, hope it wont be tooooooo prevailing for me ;)

SALAM MESRA KHAS BUAT ADIK

of course it made my day, i got my requested version of kad raya (musical, that is ;p) with sin chan's little scribbling:p kiddo, missing u loads!!

*DROOLING*




sweet thought from k sha, abg ngah & sin chan..and i'm counting the days to dig them all..hahahaha

dear miss/mr no-number

u've been kind last nite for not waking me up from my sleep. lasted for 2 seconds, so i'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a misscall. anyhow, its a shame that i couldnt reply or even sms u back. u see, i'm not gifted with telepathy so couldnt really make a good guess and without any number appeared, nothing i can do. or maybe it was just accidental...no idea:p

err i'm a bit nutsy today....

OF FASTING IN FRANKSTON

- i made do with so-called-porridge-but-dried-version and salty (ops!)omelette for breaking fast.

- i braced myself to go to the toilet which is luckily in the same house during sahur. oh, yes, 3am and its not en suite. goosebumps:p

- i called my mum for 2 days in a row, and today is only tuesday *sigh*.

TAGGIE

peah and haniizhar, here goes

20 years ago, 1985

hehe, 3-year-old girl with her DORY-like memory?? both doesnt help at all..but i knew at that time our family had already settled in that lot-186 as according to my parents, we moved into the house a day before my birth..enjoyed being the youngest as adik only joins us 4 years later (note: up till now, i have frens questioning when i say i DO have a YOUNGER sibling=D ) as what i did to syak!r and syahman during my hols, i had the same with my auntie..only that she babysitted me much longer as she lived with us.hmmm, i'm not entirely sure how i behaved as a 3 year old toodler, i memoried that family used to call me with this funny nickname as i had the habit of pretending to cry untill i get things my way..hahah,nope wont disclose it here!! sadly i dont have a lot of baby pictures..when i complained to ma why my elder siblings have lots more, she said its because during their stay at the old house, they have a photographer as their neighbour...hurmmmmmm *not talking*

10 years ago, 1995

all this while i was another kampung girl who played 'getah' and 'baling tin' (err) with my relatives-cum-frens and looked forward to sleep over at our arwah nenek sedara..its care-free life.alhamdulillah that year, i was offered to go to seri puteri, 8 hours drive away from home..i was all prepared for this,used to send my other siblings off to their respective schools. but little did i expect that i would be all in tears before we even left my uncle's house, huhuhu..hanin, i know u'r snifling ur laugh reading this:p yeah, my 1st year was full of ahemm, u guess;) lucky me, i had extra 6 weeks of hols that year as i fractured my elbow and turned up just before final exam..hohoho. despite all the crybaby episodes, i did enjoy the year and started to make acquaintances, some turn to be my good frens till now..then, life was colourful.full of laugh and joy..and im not really sure how i end up to be known as loud and mischiveous by teachers *thinking hard with innocent face* ...i wont cramp in my 5 years experiences into this single paragraph as its so not fair...each and every single things deserved to be mentioned..friends, teacher, seniors, celebrations, exams, sports day, FOOD, wardens & hostels...n SA1C'98,our lil secret still safe with me *chuckle*

5 years ago, 2000

time flew fast..n u bet, i did step out from seri puteri in tears..good things never last forever aite?..anyway, batch of '82 was the chosen 'trial sample' for the matric's double intake..which means there were ppl who enrolled into matrics before SPM result came out. i was the unlucky one, left behind while most of my frens were already in KMM, KMPP etc..how dissapointed and sad that time, Allah knows..spent my extended hols at home, doing household chores and tailing my mum..Alhamdulillah, Allah has always come up with better plan for me..after SPM was announced, i got a telegram (huh, macamla hulu sgt umah aku xleh nak tefon:p) from MARA and this marked another chapter of my journey. actually there were twisted chronology before i ended up attending the interview..again, not gonna elaborate about it here..anyhow, what happened during the interview was i failed to name the sultan of kelantan..huhuhu. again, Alhamdulillah i received an offer letter to do IB in KMB..and no thanks to my bro who did his A-level at the same place years before and told stories about his IB-and-never-have-free-time room mate, i freaked out..but in the end, i decided to give it a try and never would i know, i'm so gonna love the next 2 years's experiences..again, its not the place that matters but frens that we made, teachers that we loved and activities that we joined... deeply bonded by frequent gathering in a small cubicle of F201, eveningly doses of basketball, trips, pranks and dramas.. despite all the stress of assignments & exams, we found happiness and comfort...i couldnt ask for more, could i?

3 years ago, 2002

graduated from KMB and brought back the high spirit and memories. before everyone departed into our own way, we the girls of med3 had our final gathering in langkawi..GREAT, enough said! and in september, i hit the ground of down-under, still in grief after the loss of my late uncle *sigh..well, this was my 1st ever being oversea =) settled myself down with the other frens, old and new. i started to play netball again after 10 years. life was ok, high-spirited but at the same time anxious to start my med year..oh yes, 1st aidilfitri away from home..hehe, u could guess by now what happen when i heard the takbir at malaysian hall:p went back to malaysia for the summer break..my parents're away for hajj so aidiladha wasnt any better :p syahman was born and i had experience of babysitting him 24/7 for almost 2 weeks as my sis-in-law was tied up with KPLI.now u know why i'm so bonded with that sin chan :p

last year, 2004

2nd year of MBBS.. when life took its rough turn..shedded so many tears and swallowed so much sadness...and with that i metamorphed. things happened one after another and when i couldnt think of anything else to ease myself up, a fren suggested to pour it into this virtual space..at the same time, i started to miss ppl, realised that i was no longer in my comfort zone and somehow i knew i had to brave the waves all alone. tough, verily. despite all that, i experienced sydney and gold coast during winter hols. 2 girls and a map. it was a blast and brought back sweet memories. but i wasnt smiling for long. again, Allah tested me with misfortunes and by the end of the year, i was practically drained from all the emotional torture. but as the saying goes, setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. so i survived.

this year, 2005

living in 2 places was no one's dream. frankst0n is where i am destined to be for my clinical year, yet clayton is the place of comfort and joy...continued to metamorph as i picked up the lessons and learnt the beauty of acceptance. good laugh and bitter cry, i went through. families? absence makes the heart grows fonder ..frens? come and go but some stick around..faith in ALLAH? it means strength. went back to msia for my sis's wedding. alhamdulillah, everything went well and i myself rejuvenate during the hols. another sydney experiences during MASCA GAMES. as i am approaching the end of my stay, i come to realise that Allah doesnt send me to frankst0n for nothing.

next year, 2006

Insya Allah, i'll be in my 4th year..doing 4 blocks of pscyh, GP, O&G and paeds.hohoho, pray hard that things will be much better next year. good news, i'm expecting (ceh, mcm aku pulak yg preggy:p) another 2 nieces/nephews by April.lalalala, may both of them be girls and i'll shower them with cutesy tops and gowns..might be my final year of playing netball =( n err i'm thinking of doing cross-stiches of an english house or garden of flowers...but the most important things will be to keep the spirit high and always be in good company.

10 years from now, 2015

already a hajjah, insya Allah..married to the man destined by Allah and blessed with err 4 kids?? huhuhu, maybe should keep the number open :p working my way to become a specialist in....again, i keep the option open..hopefully by then, i managed to do as much good deeds as i can to my parents, coz to repay all they've done to is beyond possible. keep the families bonding strong and will always have time for my girly sessions with my mates..may our frenship lasts ;)


fuhhhh, penat!

niesa, izzah and syu: you are next! nisa & shera: would love to tag but time might be a constraint eh? feel free to do anyway;)

OF BEING INVISIBLE

It was during my way from the home country after winter hols. little did i expect that it'll be this long. record.

should i'd be forgotten, fair enough =) its so self-explanatory.

during this period, i learnt my humble lessons...about life and survival..about frens and rememberance.

guess one's right, that pink-angelic-look is too gurlish for me so here i'm back with the old (very old, indeed) black-white-red look..and the girl depicts me..the truest me..

i've lived with this template for more than a year and never wear out of it..oh well, once or twice i did try on something new or so-called refreshing but i would settle to this eventually...lost the html codes when my pc crashed last month and didnt really bother looking for it again, until tonite..and to find it back is a relief, or maybe therapeutic..

and today, my laksa penang tastes so yucky...bluekkkkkkkk =(

Foul

bewarned that i'm not that-cool-or-sempoi-as-i-look-or-sound..there are things that i cant tolerate, and i'm pretty snappy for that...seriously, think twice before u say or do things..coz i'm bound to show the devil side of me...no joking!

loathe me?? hah, go ahead...

a fren offered a lift today, so here i am in clayt0n t0nite..wehoo!!

..next to the tv was a parcel, with my name on it..yeayyyyy, kuih tart from my sis-in-law..jumped and laughed excitedly..i'm all HAPPY and EXCITED..but not gonna stuff it all till raya =D

..were in the kitchen..in the middle of cooking soup..

me: *campak bahan2 dalamm periuk* aaahh pedulikla..aku reti masak ke, x reti masak ke..kalu nak _____ ngan aku, terima jehla (gaya org membebel)

anonymous 1: eh kenapa tiba2 nih??hahahha *then jenguk dalam periuk, ada slices of daging and 2 chopped onion dalam air yang baru nak mendidih* kak yattt!!!! masak ape nih???

me: eeerrrrr....hahaha.. masak sup..nak makan.. *thinking of all the excuses i can give

anonymous 1: *lol* patutlaaa dia dok cakap mcm tuh....mane ade org masak sup mcm nih..ade tumis bla bla bla tak??

me: *sengih* hahaha, takk..kena letak ke?? ala, aku nak kurangkan minyak (konon!) malas nak tumis..masak jelah macam nih

anonymous 2: ape dia letak dalam periuk tuh?? ko nih, gaya macam marah kat sorang budak jeh... (so happen, tadi dlm keta mmg borak pasal bestnye pempuan yang reti masak, especially kelantanese=p)

me: hahaha, xde aaa (mmg pun, x kisah langsung psl conversation tuh)... aku mmg tak sure nak letak ape..eh tak boleh ke masak mcm nih???*lol*

so they started to talk like ibu-ibu-mertuaku *tutup telinga* adeihhhh...

ya Allah, penat..tersangat penat =(

SAYANG...

- kalau peluang untuk berterawikh dah ade tapi tak digunakan..janganla bagi alasan penat..ikutkan sape tak penat bulan puasa nih, kan? hmm, especially bile kat mesia x timbul soal takde masjid or surau jauh..kalau kwn2 boleh pegi, knape kite xleh? kuatkan semangat, best ape join org ramai meriahkan rumah Allah =)

- kalau kite boleh stay-up berjam2 tapi xleh bangun utk solat subuh..hmm, x salah nak tido lewat tp make sure tak terlepas subuh...sbb rasanya dlm byk2 waktu solat, yang nih paling susah nak jaga..

- kalau dah elok2 pakai tudung, pastu decide xnak pakai...lagi menyedihkan kalu pakai on selective occasions..hah?? peer pressure x masuk dlm list laaa..sume dah besar, dah tahu mane salah mane betul..honestly, this on-and-off trend is confusing (read: pakai ke tak ?)

wallahua'lam...

...after a week, we've decided to take a break from daily travelling..sgt2 memenatkan..bangun pukul 3 utk sahur, tido balik pukul 4, (terpaksa) bangun pukul 630 utk naik bas pukul 7..sambung tido dlm bas utk setengah jam..sampai frankston dlm 730, either sambung tido balik or siap2 pegi tute's or ward round..klas habis by pukul 4 or kalu abis awal tgu sampai pukul 4 utk naik bas..tido lagi setengah jam dlm bas..sampai rumah, masak n get ready utk bukak puasa..habis solat dlm pukul 9, terpaksa buat keje tp mata dah x larat nak bukak..kekadang by 11 10 dah tido=(
ikut hati mmg nak stay clayt0n utk bulan puasa nih tp mmg tak larat..dgn keje yg banyak, penat travel lagi =(

...esok: bukak puasa 2 org..makan ala kadar jelah..(read: rempah2 dah bawak balik n mmg xde stok makanan pun kat sana*sigh)

in the middle of...

- Ramadhan..alhamdulillahh, tried to make it as meaningful as possible..as quoted from peah, biar sederhana tapi sempurna...and thats how my Ramadhan would be, insya Allah. let us spare some time to reflect on the past and pray for the future...
- finishing (not too soon=p) two textbooks before the exam..done with the yellow-surgical-aid yesterday..aiming for the red-clinical-exam and orangeish-pathology...menggaris oh menggaris!
- working on my BIG-5 challenge...asked zura to dare me into this, coz that way it'll be more motivational ;) otherwise, i'll simply relapse in a day or two... *did i see some curious frowns??hehe..
- steeling my heart =).. any manual to differentiate between good reality vs dreamy illusion?? pathetic, not!

and soon...

- starts on the portfolio..reflective essays, year review..blablabla...never gonna enjoy this=(
- raya mood..ok, living with baking freaks (with 's' for more than one:p) makes life a lot easier,hahaha..jom sama2 bakar dapur biskut dan kek..
- writes that i've-been-tagged-entry....*guilty grin to peah and hani-izhar*
- oppss, secret....dancing away*

A RANDOM TESTIMONIAL ( credit to frenster, not mine tho =D)


Always Remember
When things are down
And you are out of your mind
Remember just remember
Allah is The Kind.

When your life is in darkness
And nothing is right
Remember just remember
Through the darkness,
Allah is The Light.

When nothing makes sense
And your heading for demise
Remember just remember
It doesn't make sense,
but Allah is The
Wise.

When times are troubled
And no one seems to care
Remember just remember
Allah won't hurt you, He is The Fair.

When your heart is breaking
And your pain makes you fall
Remember just remember
Allah Sees it all.

When you are weak
And the road seems long
Remember just remember
Seek strength from The Strong.

When life is a burden
And everything is unstable !
Remember just remember
Allah is The Able.

When the way is cloudy
And there is no one by your side
Remember just remember
Allah is The Only Guide.

When no one wants to listen
Or is willing to lend an ear
Remember just remember
Allah is always ready to hear

very well said, rite??

alhamdulillah, i thank Allah for this serenity..berkat Ramadhan kot=) when He took away this nikmat some time ago, everything seems wrong and self-pitying was unavoidable ..only He knows how i survive the trying times...in the end, i realised that i just have to accept things as they are NOW..and never risk anything for some uncertain future...

have a meaningful Ramadhan ppl. God bless..

a-ok again=) excitedly welcoming Ramadhan..sama2 kita meriahkan dgn terawikh n tadarus, insya Allah..

i'm leaving taking a break from writing in this space of mine for a while. and i'm off to sydney this friday. so double bye to all.

p/s..peah, i owe u an entry rite? dont worry, will do that once i'm back on track. hugs for u.

happy birthday to syak!r..love u dear!

now, that seems to be far-fetched. somehow i've lost hope and start to realise there is impossibility in everything. hmmm, what can i say...Allah must have His very own reason for not granting my wish for that. no matter how much i hope to have one and enjoy the company, i couldnt. maybe the dream of 16-year-old-girl has been replaced with some reality for 22-year-old girl. this isnt depressing yet, saddened me a bit. especially at this point of time when i really need that to hold on to and aid my journey.hmmmm...

pls, nothing to do with lovey-dovey-thingy. no wild assumption is welcome here.

this time, it came with unannounced melancholy..missing ppl and tears flooding my cheek.. a bit of swinging mood but hasnt got to anyone's nerves..by evening i knew whats this i-am-feeling-lonely-and-have-no-one-to-turn-to-feeling all about..eheh, talking about XX chromosomes and its package..bless us;)

yeah, catched up with n!esa. aint going down the memory lane and reminisce all the sweet ol' time we had during IB years..but revealed some harsh reality. no human can withstand that,i bet. i cant, for sure. i offered nothing but prayers and ears to listen (ok, eyes to read and hands to type in our case=p)..hope she'll know how to 'heyy' me whenever she needs one. dont hesitate ok!

and that cousin of mine, had me a few laugh fits..with his newly-discovered words of wisdom about making ways to a long term relationship and such. eh, i wasnt not laughing at him but more like amused with the change..so not him..wonder what happen to mama's boy*lol*..ahhh, cheeky mode=p dont him dare to leave me alone in not-yet-married-hood!! hahaha...will catch up again..this time it'll be somewhere in pizza hut,he said as he refused my humble request for mamak stall..yahahaha, will make sure of that!!

him...

- when i was small, he's not even close to be my favourite man. with his stern-looking face, loud voice and strictly no-nonsense,have to say i'm afraid of him at that time.
- we lived very closed to each other and our house was more like second house of his family. he would come to our house after work and spent hours playing solitaire. then he went- 'buat air teh' or 'takde air teh?' Initially grumpy, i began to enjoy serving him. taking his request as a compliment for my lil service.sometimes x sempat mintak, dah siapkan awal2 =)
- during my teen'years, i had this fav green sandals. mase tuh 1st day balik rumah and dia dtg rumah.."haa agak dah mesti ade kat rumah" "tahu mane?" " selipar hijau kat bawah tuh". hmm, i would remember this...
- he's really a family man. my family ourselves relied on him so much. attended my petty requests- cuci gambar, belikan tiket, belikan prepaid card, u name it. he may grumbled a bit but never failed me=) also the only man in this big family who always came up with the idea of 'mandi air terjun' or 'pegi pantai'. ahh, all excited!
- so much into sports, soccer i would say. and the trophies in his house proved it.
- the first to call me 'doctor' when i started doing IB, way before my med school's life. no one else did.
- i always hopped in his car to go to the town. as we parted our way, he would call a few times, just to check on me..asking my whereabout and make sure i'm alrite...honestly even my abah didnt treat me this way..
- he's there during most of my siblings' registration days. seremban, kedah, johor,kl,penang, selangor. as for me, there were ser! puter! and banting. but not in KLIA..
- 1st rejab 1421, 5 days before my flight to melb. he returned to the Al-Mighty. his first heart attack. family was busy preparing for my kenduri doa selamat. turned into kenduri arwah *taking deep breath*. my last memory of him would be the night before, on our way back from kl. he on the praying mat looked longingly at his lil kids.
-remembered the day vividly. God knows how the family felt the loss. i shed no tears on my departure, had enough for 5 days before.
- abah, his bro-in laws was the closest person to him. just put it this way-whatever he bought for himself he paid for two, vice versa. a few times i saw abah's watery eyes after he left us for good. in fact i worried more about abah than ma at that time.

i know Allah loves him but i simply miss him. Al-fatihah to my Ayah Lah.

dinner IMS...nothing exciting happened with me stucked in the last table. more piccies, but not very soon...

over the phone..
- i yearned to reach out and hug my sis. this was my proper phone call after knowing she's pregnant..within a minute,she broke into tears coz of bad time she had with morning sickness and watsnot. quite speechless, i am. 'bile nak baliknye, nak mintak picit kpala kak nih..x tahan dah' felt like crying too. how we missed each other..

- i laughed with abah over his attempt to cook lunch. tapi cemana nih abah, boleh tertukar bawang putih dgn bawang merah =D

-gossipped with ma about everyone in the family. nyehnyehnyeh!

=( what happened to the song?? where's it gone? that 'never be replaced' sweet melody did some good to my soul for quite some time, but now i've lost it...*frown*

sedihnya dah hilang...

today, i'm supposed to go the malaysian carnival in melbourne. treat myself with the $10 food voucher*drooling* & played netball afterwards. but for the last 3 days, i dont feel like going. dont feel like socialising to be exact. wished to stay home & have some quite time for myself. so thats what exactly i did. lazed around on the bed, worked on the notes and good laugh with the housemates.

but these 2 stooges drove me crazy with their lagu2 raya..cekik jugak diorg nih, saje jeh nak seksa aku..arghhh!! kalu lagu happy2 xpelah jugak, nih sume yg leleh2 manela aku tahan..dahla puasa pun belum start lagi, mana boleh...last2 aku yg kena pakai headphone*tongue*

~*______abah, happy 56th birthday. semoga Allah merahmati hidup, dipanjangkan umur & dimurahkan rezeki. proud to be ur daughter & i love u so much_______*~

today marks the last day for abah in his educational career. he's officially retired now tho his birthday is actually on this coming saturday. congratulated & wished him well this morning. two things in my mind
- bestnye kalu ade kat rumah..nak makan nasi kerabu jugak!!
-hmm, lps nih nampak gaya abah dah tukar opis..dari bilik pengetua ke bangsal kat kebun..suke la tuh,heheheh..

went to watch charlies & the chocholate factory on wednesday. that lucky boy reminded me so much of syak!r...my darling nephew..argh, ingat rumah lagi :p

my last thought, Allah's plan works in mysterious ways. both learn the lessons and never too late to start new. alhamdulillah.

eheh, one in february, another one in april..puuhh, dua2 tuh girl:D

deep inside, i feel bad. but no matter what, i believe Allah knows best.

it is an unappreciated frenship if

- its so much of playing around with words & things said are taken for granted.

- excuses may not be lame, but doubtful enough..and there were holes in the explanation given.

- one person left the other person in uncertainty, with the latter trying to figure out what he/she has said/done wrong.sorry but this particular habit isnt helpful.

- one person tried to rationalise things by taking part of the blame & end up feeling guilty nonethelessly. fair enough but pls have some courtesy to tell the person what/which went wrong. no one bites.

- sorry may be the easiest thing to say but...what happened after having it so so many times?

- one person tried to save the frenship each time...accepted the mistakes and swallowed the bitterness, but i reckon human are never perfect, far from being angelic to do it for the rest of life.

happy birthday to ana & ba!ti... thanks for all the happiness u've infected to me;) may Allah bless*hugs*

8pm-12am: sleep

12-4am: awake

4-630am:sleep

630-645am:awake

645-10am: sleep ( around 730am, sent an sms - 'you guys can start the 8am tutes without us'

slacker!! heck, no more fragmented sleep, strictly..

mase tgk title artikel nih kat bulletin board, terasa nak baca. dah habis baca, terasa nak paste kat sini..bacalah

Berapa ramai lelaki yang boleh menjadi imam??

Kalau perempuan tidak boleh memasak, dikutuk
dan disuruh belajar. Kalau lelaki tak boleh jadi
imam kita kata okay saja. Jangan diperbesarkan
nanti mereka terasa hati.
"Apalah perempuan, tak pandai masak siapa nak
kahwin dengan awak!"

Begitulah kata rakan sejawat lelaki pada seorang
anak dara, juga rakan
sejawat kami. Maka jawaplah si gadis ayu itu yang
dia tidak sempat belajar
memasak sebab dari kecil tidak digalakkan
keluarga sebaliknya di suruh
menumpukan perhatian pada pelajaran saja.
Sementelah tinggal di asrama,
peluang pulang ke rumah terhad dan tidak sempat
turun ke dapur membantu
ibunya.

"Habis sekarang kenapa tidak belajar?" Tanya
sang lelaki lagi dengan penuh semangat.
"Sedang belajarlah ni tetapi selain sibuk dengan
kerjaya saya juga sibuk
belajar agama, jadi belajar memasak tetap tidak
diutamakan!" Begitu jawab si gadis yang
membuatkan lelaki tadi menggeleng-geleng
kepala. Baginya tidak sempurna seorang wanita
jika tidak tahu memasak.

Wanita sepatutnya buat begitu juga. Syarat utama
menjadi suami mesti boleh menjadi imam. Walau
ada yang kata, jika itu syaratnya bermakna makin
ramai wanita yang hidup bujang seumur hidup.

Lelaki meletakkan kebolehan wanita di dapur
sebagai perkara utama dan ungkapan hendak
memikat suami, perlu pikat seleranya sering
diguna pakai.
Tidak kiralah jika wanita itu berpelajaran atau
berjawatan tinggi dan
penyumbang utama kewangan dalam
rumahtangganya. Sekarang bukan asing lagi gaji
isteri lebih tinggi daripada suami. Namun
kedudukan suami sebagai raja tidak pernah dilupa
walau dia tidak mengambil inisiatif mempelajari
ilmu menjadi imam. Ilmu bermain video game di
komputer mereka rasa lebih perlu.

Kalau tidak tahu memasak disuruh belajar dan
sesudah belajar perlu handal.
Jika handal bukan setakat masak untuk keluarga
sendiri, kalau boleh perlu boleh memasak untuk
tiga pasukan bola. Begitulah standard yang telah
ditetapkan. Bolehkah kita meletakkan undang-
undang itu kepada lelaki juga.
Kalau tidak pandai jadi imam, belajarlah. Mula-
mula jadi imam kepada
keluarga sendiri, sudah terror boleh mengimam
satu taman perumahan juga.

Sibuk suruh kita handal memasak, mereka tu
bolehkah jadi imam? Dengus teman wanita yang
lain.

Betul juga. Berapa kerat lelaki yang menjadikan
sembahyang jemaah di rumah bersama anak isteri
sebagai agenda utama, selain keperluan
memenuhi pelbagai seleranya? Maka bertanyalah
wanitakini kepada beberapa lelaki tentang
kebolehan yang satu ini.

Ternyata ramai yang menjawap tidak confident
menjadi imam sebab takut bacaan al-Fatihah tidak
sempurna, salah tajwid atau pun dia merasakan
isterinya lebih handal. Ada yang kata lebih elok dia
dan isteri sembahyang sendiri-sendiri. Ada juga
menjawab, rasa kelakar pula apabila dirinya yang
rugged menjadi imam.

Isu ini sepatutnya kita beratkan sepertimana
masyarakat memberatkan wanita perlu pandai
memasak jika mahu bersuami. Lelaki juga harus
boleh menjadi imam supaya kewibawaan mereka
sebagai ketua keluarga tidak goyah atau menjadi
mangsa queen control. Kalau tidak pandai,
belajarlah sekarang.
Jika wanita disuruh belajar, apa salahnya lelaki!

my say: ironically true..hmm, nak cakap lebih2 pun rasanya x layak...tp kalau rasa nak jadik imam pun agak susah, cukupla dgn jaga solat 5 waktu..ramai or maybe semua org solat tp jaga tak jaga tuh, wallahua'lam..ingatan utk diri sendiri jugak, insya Allah=)

gerak geri Ilahi...

tiba2 hari nih tergerak hati nak YM al!n..just try my luck sbb terasa lama sgt x borak panjang ngan dia..rindu nak bercerita n bergelak...after a while i received mail alert- a frenster msg from her, the same al!n..so dengan blurnya aku tanya

y: apekemenda ko kasi frenster msg nih
a: yela
a: cari kau
y: hmm?
y: cari aku??
a: a ah
y: bukan dah jumpe ke nih?
alin: aku kasi sebelum kau tegur kat ym nih
y: haa?? series?
y: tipu aa
a: adala beberapa minit sebelum
a: series!!!
a: aku ingat kau tego sebab dapat mesej
y: ko mmg carik aku lin?
a: kekekeke
y: oh my
a: cari sebab lama tak jumpa
a: :((
y:(i said sumthing)
a: huih mestila
y: alin...i'm touched

n what's in her msg? hmmmm, i think i wanna keep it to myself =) but i thank her soo much for the thot...

cerita lain pulak..pasal abah..slame kat sini, mmg jarang dpt cakap dgn abah sebab slalu xde kat rumah..aku pun xdela rajin mana nak call hanphone abah, stakat kirim salam n bertanya kabar mase cakap ngan ma..tp satu hari rasa teringin sgt2 nak dengar suara dia..siap pesan mintak ma bgtau kalu abah dah sampai rumah..tp ibuku terlupa jua:p

the next day, aku call jeh hanphone abah sebab rasa nak berckp jugak dgn abah..dah penat bergelak, abah bukak cerita...rupanya dia pelik apsal aku asik kasi sms yg sama berulang2 kali, ade tuh sampe 20++..alamak, ape dah jadik?? xkan hanphone aku rosak kot..rupa2nya mmg aku accidently terhantar sms kat abah sbb jarang lock keypad & mmg nama abah 1st dlm contact list..patutla abah penah sms 'kenapa' tp aku pulak ingatkan silap send... aisehhh, lps tuh barulah aku godek2 phone tuh carik cemana nak autolock keypad..hahaha, punyelahh tak betul aku nih :p

tapi perasan tak dalam 2 cerita nih, mmg Allah Maha Mengetahui? kannn? =)

okeh, no more nescafe...serious rasa tak best...pulse habis lintang pukang,tak pasal dapat palpitation..aaaaaa, pening!!! *green face*

hah, serik!

warning: sesapa yg rasa akan menyampah bile baca nih, xyah continue baca..x kisah pun:p

warghh, jelesnye..jelesnye!!! argh, aku dengki..nak jugak nak jugak..hohohohoh...tertekan nye mcm nih...sedih aa:(

apesal??

sebab adik dpt bola basketball dr abg long utk b'day dia...huwaaaa, nak luruh jantung aku bile dia bgtau...tahap jeles x ingat campur sedih sbb nak jugak..nike plak tuh, berganda la jelesnye aku. adoii abg long, adikmu yg nih pun nak jugak :((

adik mmg bijak nak buat aku jeles & 'sakit ati'. tahula dia baru nak berjinak2, tp aku yg main evry week(yelah tahap beginner jeh:p) xde pun dapat..arghh, tak aci tak aci!! sedih aa mcm nih..huhuhuhu, nak jugakk =(( *muka monyok sbb x puas hati*

one of the days...

neurological rotation, hadnt meet the consultant yet coz i was sick on monday. around 9am, went to join our doctor doing lumbar puncture a.ka amik air tulang belakang. me n my partner stood at the edge of the bed & observed him doing the procedures. for the 1st timer, i braved my soul for this as i wasnt fancy of anything to do with the spine...hmm, it didnt go well & took longer time than expected. the doctor was up to his 3rd attempt & that poor lady had involuntary jerks twice coz the needle hit the nerves..that sudden reactions got me. lightheaded, running heartbeat & cold hands...fortunately(or unfortunately?), i've had similar experiences 4 years ago & i knew i was about to faint . recited selawat & hoped to feel better. it wasnt long tho coz i decided to leave the room. went to the toilet & looked into the mirror. pucat gile muka. pakai pulak tudung putih. tried not to panic, i sat down & waited for it to settle a bit. after a glass of water, sneaked into the room again but left after a few minutes. heh, still lightheaded:((

the doctor gave up after his 3rd attempt & called for anaesthetist to re-perfom the lumbar puncture. it was after half an hour when he came & i decided to give myself another chance. alhamdulillah, with selawat & some doa, i managed to watch the whole procedures, tho there were times when i looked elsewhere but the patient's back... but i'm pretty sure i was a-ok by then.

the consultant. after introducing myself, stood next to him while waiting for the rest of the team. so when he turned to me and ask..
'are you alright?'
i was stunned. the next thing i said
'yeah, er why?' ( cant think of anything more decent to say)
but after that, i told him briefly about the incidence. ohh well, small gestures never fail to touch my heart=)

yup, i've had similar experiences with i-am-about-to-faint years ago while doing CAS in IB course. twice with the 1st one i could even see the polka-dot black & white before my eyes.. but for both occasions, my defenses were lacking breakfast (or literally hungry :p) & strained too much. and for a few times being in the theatre room this year, i did ok...so maybe this was just one of the days...

another story altogether, in dr Botha's. heheh, he always feed us with non-medico-stories before the tutes. so this time it was about his daughter who failed to impress him after 8 years of piano lessons.he claimed she's not putting her effort in it & decided to be critical on her...as usual, everyone had their say & we had mixed response. critical vs diplomatic mostly..for my turn
me: yup, i would be critical..
him: are you (my name)? you would be critical? did your parents be critical on you?
me: ohh no they are not, but i would for my child.. (hmmm come to think of this again, they are critical in diff way,hehe)

later i continued " i agree with (my other fren's name)..i mean it depends on her effort. if she really put much effort but still couldnt do best, i wouldnt really mind but if not, then i'll be critical" then i let the rest do their talking..

"i like you, (my name). you are strict. and also (my 2 male frens' names)..bla bla bla"
errk hehehe, i think i'm being plain honest here...its either all or nothing ;)

something isnt right..cepat rasa lightheaded, penat sgt2..belum pukul 9mlm, mata dah 80% tertutup tp terpaksa tahan...sebabnye nak avoid nap nanti susah nak tido mlm..n skarang nih my right hand is shakky..sebenarnye smalam hampir black out..ape cerita? esokla yer..x larat sgt2..

almost forgot adik's birthday, but thanks to kak for sms'ing me this morning=D

adik, happy 16th birthday..hehehe, may Allah bless you & pls be good to ur sis. otherwise no more pressie.get me??:p

heh, i'm writing again..

one productive saturday ;) braved the chilling morning to go to the basketball court..been a while since we played for full court..yerp, the number who turned up weren't as good as my days in college, still its better than nothing rite?? played (LITTLE) better this time,hehehe.. so save the whinge for next time:p next is house' spring cleaning..hehe, who knows that the new arrangement with lil renovation in the house is therapeutic in its own way..yes, enjoyed myself doing it. call it self-satisfaction :p

self-treat? hehehe, makan besar shared by 4 ppl. nasi beriyani+charcoal chicken+cheese cake*drooling* haaa, we compensated that extra calories by walking to clayton..huhuhu, penat sbenarnye :( then after maghrib, women make waves..hehe, getting better at it..telan air pun telan airlahh:p and call the day off with Full House!!hehehe, best best=)

the next day, i caught cold,huhuhu...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in july..

it was peah..last time we met was 2002 & separated into our ways since then. so i decided to give her a call, 1st ever after our last meeting. we only spoke a few lines then she *excitedly* said that i sounded different, feminine-wise so to speak (oh my, couldnt believe that i'm actually typing those words, lol!!)..of course i simply laughed & dismissed her without much thinking..i mean, there's no way for it to be true..maybe she's just too happy to hear my voice (ahh, perasannye) that she's hallucinating...ahahahha, so i ridiculed her again and again for...err merepek??*habisla peah marah aku nih :p

then that part of conversation never crossed my mind again till last week..

when i was on the phone with a fren here...without disclosing her name , i must say that we've created a special bond since last year..in her company, i talked my heart out without much hesitation, shared stories & feelings..she's been a good listener, advices not condemns=) back then when i had my own room, privacy was never an issue..but this year around, we hardly have space to talk...so phone calls come in handy..and as soon as i finished my rambling, she went..

' yatt ko dah berubahla...'

n i laughed there and then...no peah, this time it wasnt about my whatever-you-said-before,heheheh...but she marked that from the way i spoke, perceived & rationalise things, it sounded more composed & positive.... hmm, nothing to boast & brag about, ok!! all i wanna say: i'm amused by these ppl =)

hmm, i may not have time (err idea more accurately) to write as much as i used to..so i'll leave u ppl with my fav entry. cut and paste, mind u =)

>The guy who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he loves you. He, himself knows that, in his eyes, you are the only one.

>The guy who loves you, actually always makes you mad, but he does not know what stupid thing did he do, as everything he does, he thinks it is for your own good.

>The guy who loves you, seldom praise you , but in his heart, you are the best, only he knows it.

>The guy who loves you, will scold or complaint if you didn't reply his message and others, because he cares.

>The guy who loves you , only drop his tears in front of you, when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beats for you.

>The guy who loves you , will remember every word u said , even its accidentally. And he will always use the words in the nick of time.

>The guy who loves you, will not give any promises that easily, because he doesn't want to break the promises, he wants you to believe him and he wants to give you the happiest and safest life ever after.

>The guy who loves you, always tell you not to think too much, because he already plans it for you, he wants to give you the best life in the future, he wants to give you a surprise, believe that he can do it.

>The guy who loves you, maybe can't remember special occasions like some kind of anniversary, but , he does know that, every second he lives, he's loving you, no matter what day is that day.

>The guy who loves you, won't say " I love you" that easily, because everything he does for you is showing that he loves you already, but he will only tell the words at a special situation, because he does not want you to misunderstand, he wants you to know that he loves you.

>The guy who really loves you, will feel that,sometimes, some things have to be told for only once, because he thought that u might already understand him, if he talks too much, he will feel that there is nothing you will cherish.

>The guy who loves you, will go to the airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect but he will carry your luggage and ask you " Why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.

>The boy who loves you, will listen quietly to you, when you are mad, and when you have finished talking, he will say, You still have class tomorrow, sleep earlier. with a smile.

>The boy who loves you, doesn't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will send a message to you after a few hours, if you ask him why he calls that late, he will say, 'When you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But only when you calm yourself down, my explanation will really works'.

>The boy who loves you, always call you little girl, but every time he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.

>The guy who loves you, doesn't like little toys like teddy bears, but he will always put the bear you give him on his bed.

>The guy who love you, while quarreling, he willapologize uncontrollably, although you are the one who's wrong, and later, he will send a message to you with " Baby, actually you know its your fault,you know it yourself.

> The guy who loves you, while really misses you, he will want to buy a bunch of rose and wait you stupidly under your apartment but he neverknew, what he bought was daisies, but that doesn'tmatter, because in his heart, that's roses.

>The guy who loves you, seldom says sweet words, but you know, his kisses already transfer all his passion to you.

>The guy who loves you , if he can't always seeyou, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.

till another entry...take care

MASCA Intervarsity Games. we lost in the one n only match with the final score 10-11. close eh? heheh, lets say they played better than us. it was a fair game, only that why cant we have more than 2 teams for the competitions??? and should not be playing for only 20 mins. very frustrating:( hmm, should work on my stamina too *sigh. later while waiting for the lunch pack of n.a.s.i l.e.m.a.k, tried on basketball...ahahahha, this was no better..i hardly know how to dribble & make scores. so sad =(

'the last and greaters of his protectors had died and he was more alone than he had ever been before'

*wept* it couldnt be more heart-wrenching for the ending,huhuhuh..wishfully thot that it wasnt for real...after the death of my fav man some time ago, here comes another :((

forgiveness always finds its way in the heart =)

exhausting week with

- assignment dued last friday, and i'm not proud to say that i procrastinated it to the very last day :(

- cardiology rotation with Dr Szto who never ran out of questions about physiology and watsnot. lucky he's inspiring enough for me to do my reading & practise my ECG interpretation skills.

- expected to practise Mini Case Record with Dr Botha, my dear clinical dean with his infamous quote 'you know team, even policeman can diagnose this disease'...erkk, what an expectation from us :p

-Code Blue emergency in the middle of our round . a patient in the other ward had arrest, followed Andrea the registra & Vinod the intern to the place of scene. this was my 1st experience and were looking from the door. more than 10 dr's & nurses were there, trying to resuscitate & getting details about the patient. in the middle of things, a lady came & said to the crowd "she's documented NFR" -not for resuscitate. things happened so fast but all i can remeber was my registra keep on trying to save her untill she's asystole (no heart output). eventho i thot i dealt with this experience quite well, still had my partner for this rotation checking on me more than once. a bit puzzled. later i thot maybe the 'muka terkejut' i failed to get rid of. then when i asked for the reason of his concern, he simply said "its not everyday u watch death in the hospital'. n yes, its not everybody who is thoughtful to u.

having said that, i'm totally suprised. way beyond my expectation. hmm ok, expectation is a bad choice of word i think...

sedar diri bukan bermakna rendah diri.

last night, was on YM with my cousin, updated myself bout the consert. at the same time was virtually talking to my housemate (identiti kononnye dirahsiakan)..hehe, jom pekenakan dia

y: wehhhh, akak ko pegi konsert aaa...
z: haa akak aku mana nih??
y: (teng teng teng...)kak melah ram
y:lol
z: weehhhhh
z: ramlah tuh nama mak haku
y:(alamak alamak!!! tapi dah gelak cam nak pecah perut)

hohohoho, aku terkena balik..abih aa, mintak2 dia x report kat mumy...hillarious!!

hari nih ade lg netball practise. hmm, dah lama x main position GA. last time was 10 years ago, then for the past 3 years, mostly main position GS..hermmm, agak kurang confident sbenarnye sbb dah xde stamina..hehe, tp hari nih main position tuh rasa cam best la pulak..okehla, at least adela lari2 jugak instead of berkampung kat dlm D jeh tunggu nak shoot :p

sampai rumah after practise, terus ade org jerit "cepattt, Pupus!!!" wargh, lari x cukup tangga....hahahha, tang nih xnak cite byk2..rahsia rumah:p

am i having good time?? indeed.

gelak banyak+ tertido time asar=pening kepala.haihhh

mental note to self: its ok, this 5 days will fly fast.as always. be tough.

here come the highlights of the day:

-started my day early..ehemm, azam baru la*wink wink* still due to some technical probs & lack of motivation, i lazed around:p
-tried to be an angel for peah;) ahahaha, she must have some kinda sound-trouble when commented about my voice over the phone. tak logik akal langsung ape:p nway she's still the sweet bubbly peah (ehemm, bodek!!) that i dearly missed. so many things to catch up that i had to stop her few times to go back to our earlier discussions. there's no way to cram in all the happenings for 3 years into an hour++ phone call. at least for us, coz its actually 40% talk& 60++% laugh. honestly when i was about to dial her number, a bit worried that we might run out of idea but now i'm rest assured it wont happen...tp kurang asam punye phonecard, x kasi warning bile dah nak habis kredit..amacam peah, sronok x cakap sorang2?? ahahahha...i'm so so happy! ermm nih kalu mehran dgr cemana aku borak ngan peah, mesti kena warning-haaa gelak byk2,pastu pening pala!!.ahahaah, mak tiri:p
-started my netball training. uhuk, wasnt really my day but who cares. just play the game rite? maybe need some time to get hold of it, worry not.
-gala time in the kitchen, as the 4 always do..we tookpleasure in planning our meals and preparing them in a very 'loud' way,ahahaha!! makcik2 sure akan geleng kepala tgk ktrg masak..eh silap, tgk ktrg bercakap masa masak,ahahah .. and as peah put it this way- ala, ko x payah ckp ko masak ape. biar diorg teka pastu ko angguk jelah,lol...sebijak sang kancil eh!?
-women making waves..ahaha, aku byk main air jeh hari nih. uhuk, telan air pun byk jugak. played water games & went for sauna. haaa, seronok=)

some revelations=)

slalu kalu aku ngadu demam or rasa mcm nak demam, 1st thing ma akan suruh-mandi. ye ye ok,ahahaha... pagi td sakit gusi *muka terseksa* tergolek2 kat katil...rasa mcm nak demam..ikutkan mmg malas nak bgn and buat pape, lapar pun laparlah..tp bila teringat ape yg ma akan buat kalu aku tgh tunjuk aura2 mcm tuh, aku paksala diri pegi mandi..haahla, bile dah segar tuh x rasa sakit sgt dah..magic magic:p

aduihla, penat kawad kaki kat ward..bukan ape, kalu sume kaki pendek mcm aku xpelah nak main pondok2, naik turun tangga byk mane pun. nih dpt Dr. Andre (kacak kalu tgk from the side:p) yg jln mcm robot pastu partner ngan Marty yg tinggi mcm galah, tak aci tak aci!

morning person.pagi ke petang di hosp-berkobar2 plan nak buat itu ini bile balik rumah nanti..konon nak siapkan keje la, nak start buat keje la. malam di rumah-melepek kat katil dgn x sengaja,heheh... dah kata aku mmg x produktif mlm2 nih. nak tgk aku rajin (sket), kasi aku buat keje pagi2..insya Allah, otak berjalan lancar. tp kalu dah mlm, hehehe sendri malas laaaaaaa. tak boleh nak buat ape..ade sesapa nak tolong marahkan x??

tomorrow. going back to frankston. a very distressing thought at the moment,but i've promised myself not to give up easily. let the battle continues. may it ends with success. count down - 18 weeks. after that, so long frankston, wohooo!!

i've got so much to say here but couldn't. and wouldn't. this serenity.

good thing is SIMPLY good.ahaha, simple recipe is the best tips for cooking.pasta, onion, garlic, chopped meat(too stingy to buy the ready-made-minced-meat:p plus some good exercise with the knife), bolognese sauce, tomato paste, water, mushroom, black pepper, oregano, salt.tadaaaa,sedap sedap!*erkkk perut cam nak meletup*

had nightmares for 2 days in a row.huhuhuhu, not the i-was-scared-to-death-chased-by-the-green-monsters-and-evil-looking-ghosts kind.nightmares in their own way, IF these are to happen in the future. nauzubillahhhh.

and has my phone gone mad with the 4am-no-number-missed-call??no, couldnt think of anyone in msia who is THAT thoughtful, so to whoever that was drunk enough to use the public phone in Melb0urne chilling winter just to prank me, sorry i didnt sleep with the handphone last night*gelak puas hati*>_<

so when Sin Chan met his fav fren, Buzz Lightyear (in the form of a school bag, that is:p)

testing testing


ahahah, tak cute pun:p


tgk tv kejap;) 


suke tak? suke tak? 


nyo nyo nyooo(to the infinity & beyond:p) 

today. movie marathon *dance icon*. batman begins & mr n mrs smith. thumbs-up for both. ok2, enjoyed batman more i think. not so much of wahhh's & fuyyooo's, something else. dont watch the cartoons, in fact know near to nothing about its legend. but i know this is a must-watch-movie for this year. as of mr & mrs smith, i just feel like watching it. but sorry, 'm no good at doing movie review. serahkan pada yang pakar ;)

reflecting back few days before my flight to melb, i was badly depressed & vulnerable. imagined for the bad-if-not-worse semester ahead. sad thoughts & unexplained fear of returning to Down Under. wished to extend my holiday forever.numb.

but now, here i am in melb. full of serenity. homesick, nope.alhamdulillah...

life, we can never tell. there were, are and will be so many suprises, twists and turns along the journey. blessing in disguise, things that happen for reasons, all the word of wisdoms. to keep us strong. to keep us going.

so they said on my day 1
- uihsss garangnyeee?? takut aahh (eh, dulu pun mmg garang ape)
-yelah tp balik nih makin garang . tgk tuh asik menjerit jeh..cakap pun laju, x berenti..(lol)
-biaq p dia, sat gi kalu dia senyap x cakap apa, kite yg susah..biar dia ckp byk..kat umah kena suppressed aa tuh(lol)

haha, pandai2 jeh depa nih...dengki x habis ngan aku..dah rasuah ngan food baru senyap:p glad that the 3 are home, so tak sempat nak rasa homesick...busy bercerita n bergelak ketawa..touche!

urgh, i was FORCED to watch shutter by the 3. they watched it while i'm away, but insisted me to watch it also. huh, mmg dengki laa diorg nih!! knowing that i WILL NOT watch it alone, agreed to watch the movie again with me...last hope to escape from this TORTURE was when they couldnt fine the cd's that nite. hahahhaa, lega gile...but tadaaaa, they found it at last,huwaaa! so imagine this: tucked in the sleeping bag with the 3 on my sides, held my breath & had my eyes half-opened most of the time:p palpitating & suffocating in the end for not breathing & hiding under the cover. haaa dah nak sgt aku tgk cite tuh, korang yg terkejut dgr suara aku.padan muka,hahaha!! also need to check on them if anyone fall asleep, bukan boleh pecaya sorang tuh:p no matter how hard they tried to make me watch the scarriest scenes, i wouldnt. no way, aku tutup mata jugak!

meaningful & sweet hols?

-the only reason i was home for this short-so-not-actually-worth-going-back winter hols was for my sister's wedding. she's my guardian angel. my childhood memories was her taking care of me, bearing my bossiness & cries, me tagging along when she's out with her frens(which i would usually 'buat perangai' sbb boring*piapp*). we are getting closer as we grow up. nway the wedding went on smoothly, simple yet memorable. For all the work i've done for the reception & role i've played as her sis, i'm proud of myself.

-spent good time with my family. behaving well, err less rebellious to be exact esp to my mum. see, i've grown up to be a very gud girl...

-met my frens even to the very last day in msia. spent few hours with peon during my transit in KL, browsing at sg wang hoping to get some pirated*syhh* vcds. but didnt get any, raid besar-besaran rupanya skarang nih:p

- i've done my best to make everyone's happy. sacrifices, weariness & emotional instability i've to endure, no complain at all.

now that i've safely returned to melb, pray hard that everything will be fine. need to keep my sis's words in mind.

*****

when something happened twice, i lost for words. esp when i thought that i've made it clear from the beginning. for all my grown-up life, i tried my best not to regret over my doings. so when i'm bound to be mean & sarcastic, i find its best to refrain myself from saying the disgust. guilt is never good. keep it low.

pagi.jln sorang2 kat kb. monolog.


-hmm, nak pegi kedai tuh kena carik pasar MPKB dulu..alamak, mane pasar?? ikut jln nih ke?? try jelah...(jalan).....fuh, sib baik betul ..ok skang carik kedai, x silap kat ujung jln...(pusing-pusing)..hmm xde pun..mane eh??...(masuk satu kedai, tanye salegirl)...alamak kat bazar ke rupanya kedai tuh..mane nak pegi?? nak ikut jln mane satu?? hmmm, sesat dahh...

tgh hari.lps jumpa dyian(from johor) & rose(another kelantanese)

yatt: meh aku bitau ko trick kalu nak shopping kat sini..nti kalu jumpe mane2baju yg ko bekenan, tunjuk kat aku ..biar aku yg bckp ngan org kedai...ko jgn ckp pape tau

dyian: heheh, kenapa??

yatt: xde, kat sini kalu ckp luar susah nak mintak kurang..so kalu aku ckp kelantan nti dpt murah sket, pastu bleh tawar harga lagi..tp ko jgn gelak dgr aku ckp, hehehe.

dyian:ohhhh..mmg mcm tuh eh?

rose: haah..kalu ckp luar diorg susah sket nak kasi kurang..kalu ckp kelantan senang nak tawar harga..

yatt: betull..dulu mase far!na dtg sini pun ktrg wat camtuh gak...jadik trick tuh

hahaha, it worked;) sgt2 kelakar. sorang jadik tukang tunjuk, sorang tukang cakap. kalu nak diskas sesama ktrg, ckp slow2 ala-ala x bukak mulut.byk gune eye contacts n facial expressions. kuar jeh kedai bantai gelak bile ingat balik aksi2 mase membeli td..slamber!

pick-up hisyam & DJ(the married couple). punyela susah nak carik jalan. landmark: moving tractor(duhh!) & papan tanda jalan(yg dah xde rupa papan tanda sbb kena langgar, another duhh!) bile budak2 banting get together, meriah. sessi kutuk mengutuk sesama sendiri.gossip sana sini. tukar2 cite antara benua.compare sape yg lagi blur & uni mane yg lagi crap.hahah, best2! semua macam dulu lagi, x berubah pun.

malam.akad nikah f!zah. member banting jugak. lawak bumper & lawak takut masjid(hilarious!). bile turn kenalkan member2 lepas majlis....

bride: yang nih plak yatt, kat austral!a..
bridegroom: ohh(mumble ape ntah)...dulu SSP ??
yatt: hahh??hmm, haah.(blur. haih, x puas ati nih.kena tanya)

dah abis kenalkan semua org, beranikan diri...

yatt: hmm, bleh bitau x cemana tau 'from SSP?
bridegroom: hahhahha, biasa aa ..org byk kabel (eleh!)..stakat satu nama 'yatt' tuh xkan xleh ingat..
one of the frens:haah, dulu bridegroom's name skola tuh.
yatt: (tahu, tp aku mane ade kwn kat skola tuh...x paham)huh? yelah tuh..xkan aa..hurm, baik bgtau...
bridegroom: hahaha.xdela...kenal sorang nih pastu bkait2 camtuhla...sbenarnye kenal my close fren's name..penah dgr from dia la..bla bla bla
yatt: hmmm, ohh...*sengih

hohoho,bleh plak mcm tuh.