=( what happened to the song?? where's it gone? that 'never be replaced' sweet melody did some good to my soul for quite some time, but now i've lost it...*frown*

sedihnya dah hilang...

today, i'm supposed to go the malaysian carnival in melbourne. treat myself with the $10 food voucher*drooling* & played netball afterwards. but for the last 3 days, i dont feel like going. dont feel like socialising to be exact. wished to stay home & have some quite time for myself. so thats what exactly i did. lazed around on the bed, worked on the notes and good laugh with the housemates.

but these 2 stooges drove me crazy with their lagu2 raya..cekik jugak diorg nih, saje jeh nak seksa aku..arghhh!! kalu lagu happy2 xpelah jugak, nih sume yg leleh2 manela aku tahan..dahla puasa pun belum start lagi, mana boleh...last2 aku yg kena pakai headphone*tongue*

~*______abah, happy 56th birthday. semoga Allah merahmati hidup, dipanjangkan umur & dimurahkan rezeki. proud to be ur daughter & i love u so much_______*~

today marks the last day for abah in his educational career. he's officially retired now tho his birthday is actually on this coming saturday. congratulated & wished him well this morning. two things in my mind
- bestnye kalu ade kat rumah..nak makan nasi kerabu jugak!!
-hmm, lps nih nampak gaya abah dah tukar opis..dari bilik pengetua ke bangsal kat kebun..suke la tuh,heheheh..

went to watch charlies & the chocholate factory on wednesday. that lucky boy reminded me so much of syak!r...my darling nephew..argh, ingat rumah lagi :p

my last thought, Allah's plan works in mysterious ways. both learn the lessons and never too late to start new. alhamdulillah.

eheh, one in february, another one in april..puuhh, dua2 tuh girl:D

deep inside, i feel bad. but no matter what, i believe Allah knows best.

it is an unappreciated frenship if

- its so much of playing around with words & things said are taken for granted.

- excuses may not be lame, but doubtful enough..and there were holes in the explanation given.

- one person left the other person in uncertainty, with the latter trying to figure out what he/she has said/done wrong.sorry but this particular habit isnt helpful.

- one person tried to rationalise things by taking part of the blame & end up feeling guilty nonethelessly. fair enough but pls have some courtesy to tell the person what/which went wrong. no one bites.

- sorry may be the easiest thing to say but...what happened after having it so so many times?

- one person tried to save the frenship each time...accepted the mistakes and swallowed the bitterness, but i reckon human are never perfect, far from being angelic to do it for the rest of life.

happy birthday to ana & ba!ti... thanks for all the happiness u've infected to me;) may Allah bless*hugs*

8pm-12am: sleep

12-4am: awake

4-630am:sleep

630-645am:awake

645-10am: sleep ( around 730am, sent an sms - 'you guys can start the 8am tutes without us'

slacker!! heck, no more fragmented sleep, strictly..

mase tgk title artikel nih kat bulletin board, terasa nak baca. dah habis baca, terasa nak paste kat sini..bacalah

Berapa ramai lelaki yang boleh menjadi imam??

Kalau perempuan tidak boleh memasak, dikutuk
dan disuruh belajar. Kalau lelaki tak boleh jadi
imam kita kata okay saja. Jangan diperbesarkan
nanti mereka terasa hati.
"Apalah perempuan, tak pandai masak siapa nak
kahwin dengan awak!"

Begitulah kata rakan sejawat lelaki pada seorang
anak dara, juga rakan
sejawat kami. Maka jawaplah si gadis ayu itu yang
dia tidak sempat belajar
memasak sebab dari kecil tidak digalakkan
keluarga sebaliknya di suruh
menumpukan perhatian pada pelajaran saja.
Sementelah tinggal di asrama,
peluang pulang ke rumah terhad dan tidak sempat
turun ke dapur membantu
ibunya.

"Habis sekarang kenapa tidak belajar?" Tanya
sang lelaki lagi dengan penuh semangat.
"Sedang belajarlah ni tetapi selain sibuk dengan
kerjaya saya juga sibuk
belajar agama, jadi belajar memasak tetap tidak
diutamakan!" Begitu jawab si gadis yang
membuatkan lelaki tadi menggeleng-geleng
kepala. Baginya tidak sempurna seorang wanita
jika tidak tahu memasak.

Wanita sepatutnya buat begitu juga. Syarat utama
menjadi suami mesti boleh menjadi imam. Walau
ada yang kata, jika itu syaratnya bermakna makin
ramai wanita yang hidup bujang seumur hidup.

Lelaki meletakkan kebolehan wanita di dapur
sebagai perkara utama dan ungkapan hendak
memikat suami, perlu pikat seleranya sering
diguna pakai.
Tidak kiralah jika wanita itu berpelajaran atau
berjawatan tinggi dan
penyumbang utama kewangan dalam
rumahtangganya. Sekarang bukan asing lagi gaji
isteri lebih tinggi daripada suami. Namun
kedudukan suami sebagai raja tidak pernah dilupa
walau dia tidak mengambil inisiatif mempelajari
ilmu menjadi imam. Ilmu bermain video game di
komputer mereka rasa lebih perlu.

Kalau tidak tahu memasak disuruh belajar dan
sesudah belajar perlu handal.
Jika handal bukan setakat masak untuk keluarga
sendiri, kalau boleh perlu boleh memasak untuk
tiga pasukan bola. Begitulah standard yang telah
ditetapkan. Bolehkah kita meletakkan undang-
undang itu kepada lelaki juga.
Kalau tidak pandai jadi imam, belajarlah. Mula-
mula jadi imam kepada
keluarga sendiri, sudah terror boleh mengimam
satu taman perumahan juga.

Sibuk suruh kita handal memasak, mereka tu
bolehkah jadi imam? Dengus teman wanita yang
lain.

Betul juga. Berapa kerat lelaki yang menjadikan
sembahyang jemaah di rumah bersama anak isteri
sebagai agenda utama, selain keperluan
memenuhi pelbagai seleranya? Maka bertanyalah
wanitakini kepada beberapa lelaki tentang
kebolehan yang satu ini.

Ternyata ramai yang menjawap tidak confident
menjadi imam sebab takut bacaan al-Fatihah tidak
sempurna, salah tajwid atau pun dia merasakan
isterinya lebih handal. Ada yang kata lebih elok dia
dan isteri sembahyang sendiri-sendiri. Ada juga
menjawab, rasa kelakar pula apabila dirinya yang
rugged menjadi imam.

Isu ini sepatutnya kita beratkan sepertimana
masyarakat memberatkan wanita perlu pandai
memasak jika mahu bersuami. Lelaki juga harus
boleh menjadi imam supaya kewibawaan mereka
sebagai ketua keluarga tidak goyah atau menjadi
mangsa queen control. Kalau tidak pandai,
belajarlah sekarang.
Jika wanita disuruh belajar, apa salahnya lelaki!

my say: ironically true..hmm, nak cakap lebih2 pun rasanya x layak...tp kalau rasa nak jadik imam pun agak susah, cukupla dgn jaga solat 5 waktu..ramai or maybe semua org solat tp jaga tak jaga tuh, wallahua'lam..ingatan utk diri sendiri jugak, insya Allah=)

gerak geri Ilahi...

tiba2 hari nih tergerak hati nak YM al!n..just try my luck sbb terasa lama sgt x borak panjang ngan dia..rindu nak bercerita n bergelak...after a while i received mail alert- a frenster msg from her, the same al!n..so dengan blurnya aku tanya

y: apekemenda ko kasi frenster msg nih
a: yela
a: cari kau
y: hmm?
y: cari aku??
a: a ah
y: bukan dah jumpe ke nih?
alin: aku kasi sebelum kau tegur kat ym nih
y: haa?? series?
y: tipu aa
a: adala beberapa minit sebelum
a: series!!!
a: aku ingat kau tego sebab dapat mesej
y: ko mmg carik aku lin?
a: kekekeke
y: oh my
a: cari sebab lama tak jumpa
a: :((
y:(i said sumthing)
a: huih mestila
y: alin...i'm touched

n what's in her msg? hmmmm, i think i wanna keep it to myself =) but i thank her soo much for the thot...

cerita lain pulak..pasal abah..slame kat sini, mmg jarang dpt cakap dgn abah sebab slalu xde kat rumah..aku pun xdela rajin mana nak call hanphone abah, stakat kirim salam n bertanya kabar mase cakap ngan ma..tp satu hari rasa teringin sgt2 nak dengar suara dia..siap pesan mintak ma bgtau kalu abah dah sampai rumah..tp ibuku terlupa jua:p

the next day, aku call jeh hanphone abah sebab rasa nak berckp jugak dgn abah..dah penat bergelak, abah bukak cerita...rupanya dia pelik apsal aku asik kasi sms yg sama berulang2 kali, ade tuh sampe 20++..alamak, ape dah jadik?? xkan hanphone aku rosak kot..rupa2nya mmg aku accidently terhantar sms kat abah sbb jarang lock keypad & mmg nama abah 1st dlm contact list..patutla abah penah sms 'kenapa' tp aku pulak ingatkan silap send... aisehhh, lps tuh barulah aku godek2 phone tuh carik cemana nak autolock keypad..hahaha, punyelahh tak betul aku nih :p

tapi perasan tak dalam 2 cerita nih, mmg Allah Maha Mengetahui? kannn? =)

okeh, no more nescafe...serious rasa tak best...pulse habis lintang pukang,tak pasal dapat palpitation..aaaaaa, pening!!! *green face*

hah, serik!

warning: sesapa yg rasa akan menyampah bile baca nih, xyah continue baca..x kisah pun:p

warghh, jelesnye..jelesnye!!! argh, aku dengki..nak jugak nak jugak..hohohohoh...tertekan nye mcm nih...sedih aa:(

apesal??

sebab adik dpt bola basketball dr abg long utk b'day dia...huwaaaa, nak luruh jantung aku bile dia bgtau...tahap jeles x ingat campur sedih sbb nak jugak..nike plak tuh, berganda la jelesnye aku. adoii abg long, adikmu yg nih pun nak jugak :((

adik mmg bijak nak buat aku jeles & 'sakit ati'. tahula dia baru nak berjinak2, tp aku yg main evry week(yelah tahap beginner jeh:p) xde pun dapat..arghh, tak aci tak aci!! sedih aa mcm nih..huhuhuhu, nak jugakk =(( *muka monyok sbb x puas hati*

one of the days...

neurological rotation, hadnt meet the consultant yet coz i was sick on monday. around 9am, went to join our doctor doing lumbar puncture a.ka amik air tulang belakang. me n my partner stood at the edge of the bed & observed him doing the procedures. for the 1st timer, i braved my soul for this as i wasnt fancy of anything to do with the spine...hmm, it didnt go well & took longer time than expected. the doctor was up to his 3rd attempt & that poor lady had involuntary jerks twice coz the needle hit the nerves..that sudden reactions got me. lightheaded, running heartbeat & cold hands...fortunately(or unfortunately?), i've had similar experiences 4 years ago & i knew i was about to faint . recited selawat & hoped to feel better. it wasnt long tho coz i decided to leave the room. went to the toilet & looked into the mirror. pucat gile muka. pakai pulak tudung putih. tried not to panic, i sat down & waited for it to settle a bit. after a glass of water, sneaked into the room again but left after a few minutes. heh, still lightheaded:((

the doctor gave up after his 3rd attempt & called for anaesthetist to re-perfom the lumbar puncture. it was after half an hour when he came & i decided to give myself another chance. alhamdulillah, with selawat & some doa, i managed to watch the whole procedures, tho there were times when i looked elsewhere but the patient's back... but i'm pretty sure i was a-ok by then.

the consultant. after introducing myself, stood next to him while waiting for the rest of the team. so when he turned to me and ask..
'are you alright?'
i was stunned. the next thing i said
'yeah, er why?' ( cant think of anything more decent to say)
but after that, i told him briefly about the incidence. ohh well, small gestures never fail to touch my heart=)

yup, i've had similar experiences with i-am-about-to-faint years ago while doing CAS in IB course. twice with the 1st one i could even see the polka-dot black & white before my eyes.. but for both occasions, my defenses were lacking breakfast (or literally hungry :p) & strained too much. and for a few times being in the theatre room this year, i did ok...so maybe this was just one of the days...

another story altogether, in dr Botha's. heheh, he always feed us with non-medico-stories before the tutes. so this time it was about his daughter who failed to impress him after 8 years of piano lessons.he claimed she's not putting her effort in it & decided to be critical on her...as usual, everyone had their say & we had mixed response. critical vs diplomatic mostly..for my turn
me: yup, i would be critical..
him: are you (my name)? you would be critical? did your parents be critical on you?
me: ohh no they are not, but i would for my child.. (hmmm come to think of this again, they are critical in diff way,hehe)

later i continued " i agree with (my other fren's name)..i mean it depends on her effort. if she really put much effort but still couldnt do best, i wouldnt really mind but if not, then i'll be critical" then i let the rest do their talking..

"i like you, (my name). you are strict. and also (my 2 male frens' names)..bla bla bla"
errk hehehe, i think i'm being plain honest here...its either all or nothing ;)

something isnt right..cepat rasa lightheaded, penat sgt2..belum pukul 9mlm, mata dah 80% tertutup tp terpaksa tahan...sebabnye nak avoid nap nanti susah nak tido mlm..n skarang nih my right hand is shakky..sebenarnye smalam hampir black out..ape cerita? esokla yer..x larat sgt2..

almost forgot adik's birthday, but thanks to kak for sms'ing me this morning=D

adik, happy 16th birthday..hehehe, may Allah bless you & pls be good to ur sis. otherwise no more pressie.get me??:p

heh, i'm writing again..

one productive saturday ;) braved the chilling morning to go to the basketball court..been a while since we played for full court..yerp, the number who turned up weren't as good as my days in college, still its better than nothing rite?? played (LITTLE) better this time,hehehe.. so save the whinge for next time:p next is house' spring cleaning..hehe, who knows that the new arrangement with lil renovation in the house is therapeutic in its own way..yes, enjoyed myself doing it. call it self-satisfaction :p

self-treat? hehehe, makan besar shared by 4 ppl. nasi beriyani+charcoal chicken+cheese cake*drooling* haaa, we compensated that extra calories by walking to clayton..huhuhu, penat sbenarnye :( then after maghrib, women make waves..hehe, getting better at it..telan air pun telan airlahh:p and call the day off with Full House!!hehehe, best best=)

the next day, i caught cold,huhuhu...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in july..

it was peah..last time we met was 2002 & separated into our ways since then. so i decided to give her a call, 1st ever after our last meeting. we only spoke a few lines then she *excitedly* said that i sounded different, feminine-wise so to speak (oh my, couldnt believe that i'm actually typing those words, lol!!)..of course i simply laughed & dismissed her without much thinking..i mean, there's no way for it to be true..maybe she's just too happy to hear my voice (ahh, perasannye) that she's hallucinating...ahahahha, so i ridiculed her again and again for...err merepek??*habisla peah marah aku nih :p

then that part of conversation never crossed my mind again till last week..

when i was on the phone with a fren here...without disclosing her name , i must say that we've created a special bond since last year..in her company, i talked my heart out without much hesitation, shared stories & feelings..she's been a good listener, advices not condemns=) back then when i had my own room, privacy was never an issue..but this year around, we hardly have space to talk...so phone calls come in handy..and as soon as i finished my rambling, she went..

' yatt ko dah berubahla...'

n i laughed there and then...no peah, this time it wasnt about my whatever-you-said-before,heheheh...but she marked that from the way i spoke, perceived & rationalise things, it sounded more composed & positive.... hmm, nothing to boast & brag about, ok!! all i wanna say: i'm amused by these ppl =)

hmm, i may not have time (err idea more accurately) to write as much as i used to..so i'll leave u ppl with my fav entry. cut and paste, mind u =)

>The guy who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he loves you. He, himself knows that, in his eyes, you are the only one.

>The guy who loves you, actually always makes you mad, but he does not know what stupid thing did he do, as everything he does, he thinks it is for your own good.

>The guy who loves you, seldom praise you , but in his heart, you are the best, only he knows it.

>The guy who loves you, will scold or complaint if you didn't reply his message and others, because he cares.

>The guy who loves you , only drop his tears in front of you, when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beats for you.

>The guy who loves you , will remember every word u said , even its accidentally. And he will always use the words in the nick of time.

>The guy who loves you, will not give any promises that easily, because he doesn't want to break the promises, he wants you to believe him and he wants to give you the happiest and safest life ever after.

>The guy who loves you, always tell you not to think too much, because he already plans it for you, he wants to give you the best life in the future, he wants to give you a surprise, believe that he can do it.

>The guy who loves you, maybe can't remember special occasions like some kind of anniversary, but , he does know that, every second he lives, he's loving you, no matter what day is that day.

>The guy who loves you, won't say " I love you" that easily, because everything he does for you is showing that he loves you already, but he will only tell the words at a special situation, because he does not want you to misunderstand, he wants you to know that he loves you.

>The guy who really loves you, will feel that,sometimes, some things have to be told for only once, because he thought that u might already understand him, if he talks too much, he will feel that there is nothing you will cherish.

>The guy who loves you, will go to the airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect but he will carry your luggage and ask you " Why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.

>The boy who loves you, will listen quietly to you, when you are mad, and when you have finished talking, he will say, You still have class tomorrow, sleep earlier. with a smile.

>The boy who loves you, doesn't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will send a message to you after a few hours, if you ask him why he calls that late, he will say, 'When you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But only when you calm yourself down, my explanation will really works'.

>The boy who loves you, always call you little girl, but every time he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.

>The guy who loves you, doesn't like little toys like teddy bears, but he will always put the bear you give him on his bed.

>The guy who love you, while quarreling, he willapologize uncontrollably, although you are the one who's wrong, and later, he will send a message to you with " Baby, actually you know its your fault,you know it yourself.

> The guy who loves you, while really misses you, he will want to buy a bunch of rose and wait you stupidly under your apartment but he neverknew, what he bought was daisies, but that doesn'tmatter, because in his heart, that's roses.

>The guy who loves you, seldom says sweet words, but you know, his kisses already transfer all his passion to you.

>The guy who loves you , if he can't always seeyou, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.

till another entry...take care

MASCA Intervarsity Games. we lost in the one n only match with the final score 10-11. close eh? heheh, lets say they played better than us. it was a fair game, only that why cant we have more than 2 teams for the competitions??? and should not be playing for only 20 mins. very frustrating:( hmm, should work on my stamina too *sigh. later while waiting for the lunch pack of n.a.s.i l.e.m.a.k, tried on basketball...ahahahha, this was no better..i hardly know how to dribble & make scores. so sad =(

'the last and greaters of his protectors had died and he was more alone than he had ever been before'

*wept* it couldnt be more heart-wrenching for the ending,huhuhuh..wishfully thot that it wasnt for real...after the death of my fav man some time ago, here comes another :((

forgiveness always finds its way in the heart =)