;)

Yuhuuuuu!!

Firstly, my apology for the bad choice of words in the previous entry...

It's been good here. first day, dah kantoi dengan urusetia dalam lif...hahahah!

So i'll cya when i cya...don't miss me;)

Choice?

I woke up to THIS

Orang kita tak belajar daripada sejarah.

Inilah padahnya!


On a personal note, i got this

Take only what you need today -- discard the extra. It's better if you travel light.

Deep lah. okeh, will do!

Time's up!

Letter for the induction+BTN finally made its way....

13th till 31st- 2 weeks of induction @ Allson Klana, Seremban & 5 days of BTN @ they-have-not-decide-yet=p.

i was told that we wont get weekend off during the prog. ngok ngek betul! tapi harap2 cuti maulidur rasul dapatla escape for a while...hahahaha

the only thing i'm looking forward to would be time to spend with the girls...more bickerings and private jokes;)

miss hani_izhar, jom jumpe!

Heh!

Orang kita tak ubah macam Pak Kaduk.

Bersorak sebab ayam sabung menang tapi kampung tergadai.

EDITED: Read HERE

Expression

'Takpelah yatt..kita harap dapat mane yang terbaik...tapi kalu ko dapat KL sama mcm kitorang mmg best gila aaa..'

i gotta smile hearing that. i wish, i long and i'd love to, darlings. have lotsa reason to work my way there but only a wish for me to stay here and if it's not for that expressed hope, my preferences list in the form would've been different. perfectly honest, my life is different in both places. while i could have SIL jokingly complaint about the endless outing's and plans with frens from dawn to dusk if i'm in town, i am only a simple homely type of girl with no frens here. quite a contrast, hey? i prefer to not explain the reason why i didnt put it the other way round but rather believe, it's for the best. for now, at least;)

'Yatt, i rasa u need to learn to accept imperfection in other people..'

Wisdom. I was relieved to hear someone verbalised it out while i was contemplating. It's not that i havent heard of it but for some different reason, i choose to put up much higher expectation. That's the beauty of my frens. They corrected me and i love them for doing so. If it's not for those affirmation, maybe i'll just continue to ignore.

'Dalam hidup nih, kita ada banyak pilihan...'

I agree.. as simple as either we choose to drown ourselves in misery and claim to suffer from depression OR we could believe in blessings in disguise and continue on living...I tend to do both. I let myself loose when the pain is still raw. next, i very selectively express it out to a handful whom i do not expect solution but never fail to offer comfort. slowly, when i'm ready to give life another go, i pick myself up and usually nothing holds me down. it's always bittersweet, apparently.

'People change..'

Dont u think so? for that reason, we have no right to condemn another because it might gets back to us. on the same basis, we dont have to idolise because we might cringe in disbelief later. i've seen and suprised myself with a lot of examples on this matter and slowly trying to focus on the goodness in another more than anything else. it works for the peace of mind=D

'Nahh, that's law of attraction...!'

Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan kaum itu berusaha mengubahnya. usaha dulu sebelum bertawakal. based on this, i focus my thoughts, energy and time on the good things i want to happen in my life. i wanna start my effort from the mind not by action...ppl always said 'kata-kata itu kan doa..' so i guess our thoughts are also part of the prayers. even if it has not happen yet, we always feel good whenever we think of our wishes and dream in life rite? past experience and observation inevitably will make us feel a bit wary but don't hesitate to plan something good for ourselves. i believe that Allah Maha Mendengar & Maha Mengetahui. If what we try to attract do not happen, it's HIM who are making sure that we get the best in life. Insya Allahh..

No ?

hehehe.

I no longer watch sad movies/drama/documentary. i remembered the (first and) last time i watched Bersamamu@ TV3, i was in tears (tapi cover coverla tanak kasi org tgk=D). from then on, i decided to deliberately avoiding it by closing my eyes or turning my head whenever the preview's on air. not that i'm heartless or could not care less about those unfortunate ppl, it's just tooo heart-wrenching for me=( the same thing goes to P Ram!ee's as discussed with the girls @Perhentian. i did watched his legendary Ibu Mer+uaku but couldnt remember much because the last time was some time ago. now, i dont mind watching his Bujang Lapuk's and the likes over and over again but when it comes to drama air mata, next channel please..

hehehe.

I no longer watch horror movie, the last time was probably IT re-run a while back @ Evelyn. While in the past, i could be the one suggesting 2 hours worth of scary-creepy-eerie feeling, now i backed off voluntarily. No, i havent been in that situation real life (and please, GOD forbid!) but i have this high imagination afterwards that saw me refusing to go downstairs unaccompanied or restlessly checking out the bathroom. Now that i'm preparing myself to work day and night in the hospital, ada yang tak pergi check patient in the other building kang.hahaha. lagipun, ape bestnya tgk cerita hantu selain sakit tekak sebab byk menjerit dan sakit dada sebab dubdabdubdab?

hehehe.

I dont like Harian Me+ro for what's inside it. lotsa weird-negative-mind-blowing stories that nauseated me. seriously, i dont see any point for me to read all those.get exposed? get real!

hehehe.

I dont eat my fave part of the meal first because i love to finish off with my tastebud with something i enjoyed most. tp i cant do the same with ulam, nanti jadi kambing la pulak kalu munch it alone without rice.

;)

Cuti Cuti Malaysia

The island trip started from a small talk @ Evelyn while discussing about our get-together about 3 months ago. Who would've thought, it actually took place;)

Day 1:

6 girls met up at the airport originally from 4 different states. Did some catch up and gossip session while waiting and boarding the private flight F!refly. Touched down at KB airport; headed straight away to Kuala Besut Jetty. hehe, the election fiesta was quite a scene along the road. Arrived just in time and yes, it's the speed boat! totally unexpected. unlike Langkawi and Tioman who transported using ferry, the ride was exhilarating.. serious rasa cam polis marin with all the bumpy waves and sharp turns ..syiokkk! the student (ehem!) package entitled us for 2 snorkelling trip. We planned to change it to kayak but as the paddles weren't available, we rushed to change into our main air attire after hearty lunch. i was a bit wary of seasickness based on last time's experience @ Tioman but all went well with 3 different coral spots.horay, thanks to the swimming lesson i took 4 years ago i had the chance to jump into deep sea(with lifejacket of course, are u kidding!?) to look out for tortoise. new great experience! personally, i'd prefer corals at Tioman but the speed boat ride throughout the trip was just my thing...we didnt plan to stop at 5pm. big swimming pool was ours after that. i was so glad we came during off-peak season, so much for privacy;) after dinner, we dashed to the karaoke room and pity me, bad sore throat saw me holding the mic at a distance..but i so enjoy other girls' singing that came all the way from rock kapak to mellow tangkap leleh punye lagu.

Day 2:

Another snorkelling trip in the morning which we stopped by at Perhentian Kecil on our way back. Took our own sweet time to enjoy our lunch and after that, lazed by the beach. Enjoyed small chat, monopoly games, sing along. Mind you, conversation didnt revolved around nice and sweet words but rather pangkah memangkah each other. hahaha, thats our group dynamic! looked forward to Bi-Bi-Que at night but it wasnt as what we expected it to be. Pretty stuffed, still!

Day 3:

Up and about to go home. Upon seeing the sea and weather, we sensed something might not be right. true enough, the resort officer came and told us that we might need to enjoy their complimentary accomodation for a night with breakfast. strong wind, high rised water level, rowing fisherman boats looking for protection. totally not our ideal vacation picture but all agreed on the the blessings in disguise. we learnt a lot on that day about life offshore, hospitality, fairytale and drama conflict in life. in fact, i kinda enjoyed the mystery of that day. nway, who would say no to the next round (and sponsored) of karaoke that night. hihihi!

Day 4:

Everyone's anxious about the weather but it turned out to be our last day there. Saddened to leave the place and people, i must say. Special thanks to helpful En Najib, bubbly Waheeda, supercool Tam, accomodating Kak Rose, unpredictable Kak Anne and the rest of the Arwana Crew. u rocks! hehehe...urgh, i hate the journey back with ferry. i want my speed boat! When everyone's back on mainland, memories turned out to be a bit surreal but glad all were safe. The girls managed to do some shopping at KB before boarding their evening flight. In an attempt to speak local dialect for a cheaper price, she cracked me up..

..'mokcik, ade kaler HIJO tak?'

OMG, that was it. ROTFL!

Love Actually

On their way back from pre-school.

Syahman: papa kahwinn dengan mama...

Mama: haaa, yelah. papa kahwin dengan mama pastu dapat abang, adik umar dengan ibrahim. abang nak kahwin ke?

Syahman: nakkkk...

Mama: abang nak kahwin dengan siapa?

Syahman: dengan ciknur (that's me, everyone!)..

Awwwwww, sweet!

Acceptance

By now, i realised there's only one way out to the sorrow that is to accept the imperfection.

The pain is too deep to dig, thus i find it really2 hard to talk about it what's more to face it up.

I find it more comfortable to let the tears flow.

Thus i'm asking a big favour from each of u. cheer me up in any possible way.

I, on the other hand will continue writing on the happy side of my life.

Bleak

I was too devastated and furious. really want to scream it out, but succumb to silent cry when i was all by myself.

It was beyond common sense, then or now. at times i feel like giving it all up and live without.

How could people be so selfish & heartless?

At first i tried to contain the turmoil but when it became unbearable, i looked for comfort here and it's God's will, awaited an angel with soothing words.

I was also comforted by the thought that this life is only temporary. when i reminded myself that way, the pain became less significant.

Life is short, hence

16th to 20th: Sarawak

21st to 25th: KL ( wanna watch Buli & Dunia Baru The Movie, anyone?)

26th to 28th: Perhentian Island.

Hi there.

Hope you will find a good job that suits ur preference and in return, provide you with great self-satisfaction for the future. As what you've told me in the past, be positive!

I also meant to give this to you




Mafhumnya:

Barangsiapa yang bertakwa kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan lepaskan ia dari masalah hidup Dan diberikannya rezeki dari sumber yang tidak diduga. Dan barangsiapa yang bertawakkal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkan keperluannya. Sesungguhnya Allah melaksanakan urusan ( yang dikehendaki ) Nya. Sesungguhnya Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi tiap-tiap sesuatu.

Recite this three times after each prayer. Insya Allah, these words with beautiful meaning will be a good doa for you.

'Nasi lemak & Three' story

I met up with 3 different person at 3 different location in KLCC within the 4 and a half hour. Glad that i gotta finish up all the different tasks and Peon, thanks for the lunch treat. Nasi lemak @ Madam Kwan sgt sedappppp..We'll keep in touch! =)

The next day i got my 2nd dose of hearty nasi lemak, this time at Kayu Manis...only that afterwards i slept for 3 hours from 12 till 3 pm.

I was in KL for only 3 days.

SO?

So i went for a holiday with my sister's family to Langkawi

So i went to Ipoh to spend time with my aunt. Go and watch Game Plan, you'll enjoy it.

So my Little Ivory arrived while i was away.

So a friend mocked me, told him off!

So she turned to me and said

'..are you sure you became this size because of Herbalife, and not the broken hearted..? ...and with all this (emotional) baggage, you could still pass (your studies)?..'

So i smiled and said

'.....when i realised how insignificant i am...'

DEEP THOUGHT

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

GRATITUDE to be

Because i dont want to live in low mood ( it makes me tearful and does not suit the theme of this space), i came up with this

1. I want to be active (again) in sports. i want to start on basketball (and netball) to polish up the rusty skills. i want to buy a basketball and find a court, who knows there'll be someone who'll join me up soon. i want to go for a good swim. i want to have this for some indoor aerobic exercise in case i dont feel safe to go out



2. I want to start working in March so that i could have ample time to settle down, read up my medical books and travel around beforehand. I should be able to adapt to the new environment whenever i end up going and find more meaning in life.

3. I want to go to Sarawak, and am going with my parents this february. i want it to be enriching, mind-relaxing and give me good taste of other people's tradition and thriving. No shopping plan as yet.

4. I want to meet my Banting girls. peah (sadly in UK), hani (both izhar & salim ;p), aneesa, arnee, onie and rose (sadly in Ireland); the most. i want to sit down and (laughingly) talk with them. i dont mind to make a short trip to KL when these people are having a short break from their HO routines. I want to feel good and enjoy their company.

5. I want to mandi sungai & go for a karaoke with my SSP girls. It's been a while since we do that and i'm looking forward to the next one. i know time and TRANSPORTATION would (always) be an issue for me since my brother moved to Bkt Jelut0ng but we'll see what we can do about it. oohh, i miss g0mbak where i could easily hop on the bus to the nearest public transport=(

6. I want to spend some days with M0nash girls before we start working. At first we came up with a trip down here to Kelantan and then Redang Island but monsoon season did not allow us. Now somebody came up with Bali and another one with Sabah. Personally, it doesnt matter to me where we end up as long as the 6 of us are there even it means just a nearby resort.

7. I want to have these

W580i

VAIO TZ26GN

(or)

Macbook

Cybershot T2

8. I want to spread HERBALIFE around. A lot more people need to know that diet has always been the culprit to the big dieases: heart problem, diabetes, high blood pressure. Only by providing complete nutrition to your cells that your body will be able to function better, get rid of the toxins and feel healthy.

9. I want to be treated with respect and appreciated for what i'm worth. i want to stay close to those who care for me.

10. I want to go back to Melbourne ( partly to do some shopping) after one year working, at least. i want to go to the places familiar to me and find a peace of mind.

11. I WANT TO BE HAPPY!

help me.

i admit.

i am not being a good person lately.

i feel really bad.

i lost my temper, i lost my respect, i cursed silently, i became exasperated, i got tired of pleasing and succumbing to other people, i became restless of what i've lost, i treated bad, i became rude, i started to despair, i became all cranky and moody to the people i love and appreciate most in this world, i stop conversing afraid to say something wrong.

i dont want people to hurt me. i dont want people to instruct and dictate me as they like. i just need my space and say.

it's too much=(

why cant I WANT people see goodness in other people? why cant I WANT people take up more responsible and treat other people like a human being?

i'm afraid i am doing more sin than good deed.

bestowed upon me patience and guidance, ya Allah.

The Gratitude List

Don't worry.

I will not dwell too much on the mishaps and uncertainties. Let's do the list instead.

1. Aidiladha was the usual stuff, plus my uncle's wedding. The best part of this event was actually when three big families got together in my house. All this while, i've been saying that i got all nephews but no niece...until i thought of this girl..



this bubbly girl is my cousin's daughter so practically is my niece. we clicked and got along really well, especially when it comes to lipstick and eyeshadow!! heheh..i sooo love to to entertain (and hug) her while she on the other hand, always tails me along...

2. I'm excited to introduce HERBALIFE to a lot more people. It feels really great to be able to help and make a difference in people's life (and self-esteem). My top three's would be..

-My little sister who managed to shed 14kg in about 6-7 months and her former (evil guys) schoolmates could no longer tease and downgrade her!

-A breastfeeding mother who shed and could fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes, have more and pekat breastmilk and noticed that her son's eczema has improved a lot.

-Myself (ahemmmm;)) who managed to maintain the 8kg and 20 cm lost off my body; while at the same time have much less migraine and gastritis.

I read what i once wrote in here

I want to advocate healthy nutrition and positive esteem through HERBALIFE along the way. I will prove to a lot of people that they're as worthy and able to make a change in their life. I want to make them proud of their achievement and further appreciate the gift of health.

3. I'm very glad to find THE colour on this , so it became my birthday-graduation treat. Thanks Syu for accompanying me to bargain it. heheh. You and Carl's Junior rocks! ;)



4. I'm thankful that i could turn up at sugar's engagement and meet up with SSP girls. i so love the group picture..



5. I'm happy that we (monash girls) got to execute our plan to celebrate new year together, as our last crazy moments before we submit ourselves to work (not too) soon. Everything was spontaneous; from the Times Square to Bukit Bintang to Pavillion to KLCC to KL Sentral. 180 degree of fireworks was THE moment for me. Each had its special (and funny, not to mention yucky) experience to us. I just gotta laugh when i thought about the un-manly shriek and sigh at the immigrants' sight. Nevertheless, i am glad we got to spend time together, like the good days.

6. I'm joyful to spend time with the 3 little heroes. Syahman never failed to humour and be adored by me, Umar has got everything i used to be when i was smaller (that is to throw tantrum until i got what i want =D now i dont throw tantrum but i sulk,hehehe...) endorsed by my very own brother (ppbbhhtt!) and little Ibrahim is just angelic.

7. I'm grateful that despite the growing number every year, i never feels older than 22. tak tipu! it was rather quiet but thoughtful day for me and National Treasure 2 has got both humour and adrenaline-rush to celebrate it.

8. I'm relieved to receive the offer letter immediately after the interview with SPA (so does other people). It's convenient to go to Putrajaya together with the other m0nash girls as we kept each other occupied during the waiting. Now, it's just to wait for the posting letter (which i hope will not arrived in too early!!)

9. I'm very very grateful to realise (during the spring cleaning of my cupboard and room) that i've lived a good life, based on the pictures, yearbooks, presents and words of thoughts from friends and families from the age of 12 (that was when i started in SSP and exchanged letters with my brother oversea) until now..Everything looked (and was) perfect at that time, i was a very much happier and contented person. Allah has blessed me with priceless frienship at my different stage of life, some i had trouble to keep in touch but remains close in my heart and some who never fails to be there for me. Life has done me good in the past.

10. Very very soon, i will receive this

Wordplay?

Considering how low i've been feeling for the past 2 weeks due to a lot of unsettled stuff and ongoing issues related to my to-do lists, finding the words below is kinda good...

The Bottom Line

You can't hit a home run every time at bat. Stop holding impossible standards.

In Detail

Perfection is simply not possible -- not for anyone. Keep chanting this to yourself when you feel like you're not doing a perfect job, and remind yourself that all is required of you is that you do your best. No more. You cannot hit a home run every time at bat, so why are you holding yourself to impossible standards? If you are down right now, that doesn't mean you have to stay down. Your successes are not based on luck -- they are based on your abilities. You are able.

it makes me feel a lot better..

but...

but reading this the day before

How about I share a little secret with you, Nuryati, in exchange for an even wider smile than you're now wearing??

OK? Deal! Here goes... There's someone in the world today, right now in time and space, who you've yet to even meet, who will, before long, fall very, very in love with you.

You decide what kind of love -
The Universe

rasa kelakar, boleh tak?

In less than 3 weeks

At first, i thought i should just ignore all the frustration and angst until it explodes again yesterday when i chatted with one of my guardian angels, i spilled half of everything to her. So i guess i still need to let these weariness out of my system, for once. It's unbelievable that i've just been here for more than 3 weeks. it does feels more than that.

1. In regard to the outburst last time, i would like to relate to this report

I used JETTA EXPRESS to ship my personal belongings from Australia to Malaysia. I have paid for all the expenses (MEL-KB) and was instructed by the company to contact MAS CARGO at Kota Bharu.

However on the day itself, i was asked to go through the MAS CARGO agent before i could pick up my baggage and 'forced' to pay up to RM270 for an ambiguous bill. My other friend only paid RM44 for the custom clearance without using the agent in KLIA. I was told that MAS CARGO agent in Kedah also charged up to RM100 for the made-up fees.

I will bring this matter to the authority if nothing's being done to this corruption.

Best regards

In addition: MAS cargo acted 'lepas tangan' when i contacted them back, the clerk and managing director of the agent were very rude, arrogant and have poor customer service when i tried to rationale things right with them; clearly there's big discrepancy for the amount i've got to pay (and they have the nerve to hold on to my bag if i refused to pay); they claimed that i was already been given 25% DISCOUNT for their services; the agent's services was no better than doing the custom clearance myself( as my friend did it herself for the same freaking 5 hours).

2. This wasn't that bad. It was during the interview with Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam when the panel (seorang datuk) smirked after i answered his question about my hospital preference after all the formal interview ended. I did not resist myself from saying, with a straight face...

"May i correct your misconception? People always have this misconception about ME, being a Kelantanese and wanting to work to Kelantan. But that's not my reason. The reason is because i want to use the language advantage to communicate better with my patients"

he nodded and smiled, impressed. I did not expect this casual question and plan to answer this way but i would not be satisfied with the interview, had i not. Too tired of people's skepticism about the state sentiment.

3. Five years of living on my own, having the independence of mobility and good space of mine, it's not too much to say that there's A LOT to adjust. I have to give a lot more than what i get back (from certain people), i have to depend on others for a lot of things, i have to put up and bear. It got overwhelmed, from time to time. I need to escape.

Thankfully, another guardian angel assured me some time ago that it's not where i am (physically) at the moment but where my heart is that matters, for the place to be called home. I'm glad i know where it is.

Quick Update

Thanks a lot Nami for the words....really2 kind of u...will keep that in mind and find my way out..

Better off focusing on the good things that happened of late..but need some time to sit down and list them..

Till then..