hectic weekend..visited zar!n at monash medical centre. travel agent at chaddy.deep talk with fren.last episode of korean series All About Eve*grin dreamingly*.hunted for tv.new virtual's. everything but doing work,aiyohh!

gud sleep last nite... beds were occupied by the new-comers so tumpang syaf's..and as usual, skipped monday ward round,class started at 2pm..lalalalala...nak balik lagi nx week,nak balik lagi!!:p

genuine.wont change for someone else? a fren said so...hmm, am i??

just knew yesterday that one of the meddies who's gonna stay in the house this year actually our junior from ssp...*screaming in disbelief*arghh, couldnt be true!!hehehe, no no, its nothing personal but...errr,susah nak ckpla...anyway, havent had the chance to meet since they're away for transition camp..maybe 'll meet the 2 tomorrow..aiyo!

said that she knew both of us but sorry dear, i'm not that junior-frenly back then..too busy creating chaos and buat keje2 bertanduk ,geheheh..otherwise xdelah sampai kena ban from pegi bilik rekreasi blok A&B for 40 days,syhhhhh!! n of course i'm not part of the role-model thingy for the junior dorm ,better life awaited for me in SA1C together with the other seniors...hahaha, if only they knew wat we did*zipped my mouth* yup, will always cherished that crazy year,sweet 16=)

oh well, she'll be fine, just bear with me..lalalala

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY..to kacangbotol.blogspot..hehe, more than a year since i 1st write...time flies fast and i do keep most of my sacred experiences and thot(whingeing??) in this lil space..precious eh?? most but not all coz sumthing's better keep to self..anyhow as far!na said, it keeps u sane.yes,it does=) reckon its a way to reach my dedicated frens..who stay with me regardlessly..keeps the string of frenship attached;) my apology if by any chance my writting hurts...*have the urge to give academy-award speech but no,stop me!!:p

why kacangbotol? coz its my fav's ulam since i was small...hehe, crunchy and green:p untill now whenever i'm home, the sight of it just make me grin happily and all of sudden, excited to have my meal... add much joy to my food spree...hahaha, being kampung girl:p sumtimes i even put it my in laksa..*drooling

okeh ppl, more n more craps coming...so if u're looking for some academic-and-intelligent writing, kindly go to the top right and click the red button..tadaaa!

despite all, i'm back in clayton for the weekend,geheheh:p living without internet and tv over the weekend, no way! browsed thru some fotopages of fellow sspian, had me laughing out loud*big grin*..that photo of ya's nasi goreng..followed by her dad's comment amused me most;) anyhow, they are the ones who always keep me happy ..never fail to listen and entertain , tho i hardly understand some of the jokes,hehehe...errr, dun wanna sound soo soappy but have to say that i miss u ppl..i really do

time flies...end of weekend and another week in frankston...so not looking forward for tomorrow,will be missing my bed,study,pc n teleng :( ya Allah, pls pls make me stronger...

hehe, sorry ppl..cant get enough of writting..been my day of internet and eating...since not-so-early-morning, doing nothing but stuck in front of the computer and stuffed myself*sakit perut*...had sushi for brunch, courtesy of by $yaf,z!la and !zza...later went to sarawan coz adl! wanted to treat me for being his 'posmen karat' during the holiday..hahah, poor z!la i dragged her along..yelah, no more escorting if i'm going out with i-dont-know-whom-yet in the future :p ordered chicken beriyani..masya Allah, nak meletup perut byk sgt nasi..rasa nak pitam pun ade:p then walked to eff!e's place...'ve missed the company of ppl here, we talked over rojak buah..isk,sedap! then as promised she cooked mee goreng.. besnye besnye!!tapikan pedasnye adoilaaa...sampai keluar air mata:p being noodle-lover, tambah jugak eventhough dah 2 3 tisu aku amik..sorry yer cik perut, bukan x sengaja:p
then the net..till now=) no wonder i can do 3 entries in a day kan ? n nothing more pleasurable than being with ur frens who care ;)

..good collection of u$her's and B0yz 2 men's..thanks a lot sy!ma for doing this favour..such a nice thot from u,mate..love u loads ;) bad thing about me : never bother about the singer,title of the song nor the lyric..only the music ;) *jumping joyfully*

2nd week in franston..must said that i missed a lot of ppl..loneliness suffocated me that mobile phone becomes a good company at nite..'ve got 20 mins free call to other optus's,became a way of killing time..even called far!na after receiving one big shocking gossip...huhuhuhu, no way its gonna happen:p
me: tuhla ma..sunyi duduk sini..x tahu nak buat ape dah
ma:haa, bacalah quran ..dapat pahala lebih..(x ingat cakap ape lagi :p)
me: erk,hehehe..baca, nur baca..tapi alaa...
haa, kan dah =) aiyoh, miss my famili..dreamt of them a lot there..not a usual before this..n i've been away less than a month...agony of living a new life,maybe

simple or no cooking at all..lazy,yup! once cooked rice with lauk ikan bilis goreng, sardin n salad..good enough for my lunch,heheh..so the stock would last longer in the cupboard:D luckily my gastric juice behaves well though i only stuffed myself with cereal or nestum till noon...

learning experience? so far so good..still in the middle of getting around the hosp a.k.a kawad kaki...ya Allah, mmg kawad kaki hari2...the tutors were passionate about teaching us, well i guess..also helpful and approachable..simply love my group..not much pressure and nice ppl,cranky with jokes at times:p theoretically have to be at the hosp around 730 for ward round everyday..in between 've classes and PBL teaching..was picked on to do cardio examination to a lady,frail one...interesting yet demanding..would be good, at least i've got things to do till the year end...

r.a.c.i.s.m, not joking! twice ppl in a car shouted at us while we crossed the road n waiting for the bus..dunno wat they'r yelling though...loud enough, cam kena sergah dgn rudenye.. speechless n shocked, just ignored..but somehow had this uneasy feeling travelling around the town..ppl looked at us as if we were aliens or such..n yesterday witnessed a scene in the train..a couple was detained by police after hitting black girls...the couple swore and fought back verbally..scary la jugak sebab they were seating just a few seats away from us ..rupanya2 they'r part of this skinhead group in frankston, anti-asian, they just dont like foreigner..tahu psl nih pun bile sorang pakcik asian yg cerita kat ktrg psl experience dia kat franston jugak..advised us to be extra careful there and avoid unnecessary outing...so maybe kalu xde org nak give us ride back to clayton on friday, have to stay back:(( semalam pun after 3 hours' journey, baru sampai rumah...penatnye sgt

so, home sweet home for now!!btw..updated fotopages,yeah!

hmm, those tales-telling. enough for now. ran out of respect and trust..whatever

A whole new experience..couldnt make for the ward round at 8am as were still in Clayton..so I went to meet the interns n registra for surgical unit 3 later in the morning..suprised but glad, 2 interns that I’m attached to are muslim.. it never cross my mind that I’ll be working with another veiled lady in this place, subhanallah kan?…the day went quite smoothly..nothing much but getting around the hosp and brief intro with the tutors, trying to work things out basically..terasa cam praktis kawan kaki jeh pegi kesana sini..hehehe…

Superficially yes, we looked fine n dont have much to worry..furnished house with 2 big rooms for us..might save good amount of money in the end of the year..plus there’re only 7 of us so wont have to fight over patients n doctors..etc etc…everything might look perfect..but forget not the emotional torture,uncertainties, struggle…the l.o.n.e.l.i.n.e.s.s

We do have internet access in the student quarter. Not suffice with that, decided to buy prepaid package for the house. But somehow the installation cd broken apart,duhh:p have to wait till we get a new one..isk!

-monday-

maal hijrah@awal muharram? bile tuh, aku sendiri pun x tahu:( hmm, ignorantnye..maybe kalu kat mesia akan ade celebration and all, tapi kat sini kalu xde org ingatkan or bgtau mmg x tahu..teruknye aku

nak berubah? hmm, rasanya dah byk dah aku change tp xyah aa nak disclose kat sini..yg jadik lagi baik ade..yg jd lagi x baik pun byk jugak...but i prefer the new me;) last nite, told liyana that i'm now happy with my life..why? ntah..rasa cam happy or at least not much to worry..i think the best remedy is to learn to accept things are they are..n if i could turn back the time, i wouldnt change a thing...so no regret aite!

another jln2 carik mkn(or is it mkn2 carik jln:p) last nite..funny story happened when i opened the door, thinking of ili zarin n raihan to be at the front, eh eh apsal ade 5 org nih? panicked n blurred,i almost scream and ran away from them...hehehe,so there were nenn and the geng..oh well, diorg ingat dah kantoikan aku...blame my panic face n OMG-i'd-better-hide-myself action,hahahah..at Rich Maha, i had fish curry n mixed veggie, while the rest had chicken biryani..later all of us shared tosei(yums!)had this crazy idea of videoing our activities and send it to the tv station..ohh yeah, n by the time we finished our degree, we'll be just like 5 ballon monsters walking down the hospital aisle :p...

today, will be moving my stuff to franskton since there'll be 'temporary tenants' in this house....my clothes, books n other petty things...bebe pun bawak sekali ...sianla teleng kene tinggal tp nanti kalu balik clayton on the weekend bleh tido ngan dia:p so see u when i see u ppl!

ThE waY tO happinesS

Keep the heart free from hatE

Your mind from worrY

Live simply, expect little, give mucH

Fill your life with lovE

Scatter sunshine..forgot yourselF...

Think of otherS

Do as you would be done bY

New adventures..orientation week at Frankston hosp ..since x dapat nak contact Sandy utk dptkan kunci rumah during the weekend, so ahad malam still tidur kat clayton..gehehe, 11 anxiuos meddies in a house that nite..pagi isnin, had to q for the bathroom n all…were picked up by dalila’s fren at 8am and it took 45 mins to reach there..ingatkan bleh berulang ke Clayton utk week nih so xdelah bawak baju spare or food..berlenggang kangkung pegi sana..then baru dapat tahu yg Tuesday dah start nursing shift pukul 7am ..alamak alamak, cemana nih!!kena tukar plan la nih... there are 7 of us altogether..with me n zila as the dwarfs in the group..not to mention among the whole community of hosp..heheh:p talked to Sandy about my planned ‘holiday’ also..alhamdulillah, pray hard that everything’s ok till then..since our day finished around 4 pm and dal!la already went home, so had to go back by public ..duhh, almost 2 hours of journey…reached clayton by 7..ate dinner, rushed to pack our things and went back to frankston at 9pm(thanks again dal!la!)…never been to this uni’s accommodation before..dgr2 cite from zila jeh..well well, kinda spooky:p with a big tree at the front..2 mobile (the ones with wheels..BIG NO for us!) and 3 non-mobile springy hospital beds...decided to stay together in a room and the other room will be our study or sumthing heheh…hmm, felt a bit sad but somehow I’m sure everything will be just fine for us.
Woke up late the next day..rushed to the emergency room..hmm, xdelah crowded sgt sebab shift pagi and couldn’t do a lot..aku pun x beranilah nak pepandai pergi sana sini...mainly observed and talked to the patients..met a gentleman who’s married to his wife for 20 years and in the middle of preparing their trip to upnorth..gee, bestnye! He told me interesting story and gave me the tips on how to make sure that…
Later ikut dal!la balik clayton…talked to mum about my experience and had great laugh over it=) when I was about to doze off, adik msg me on the net..chatted with her for a while b4 I went to sleep..
wednesday, pegi MMC untuk simulated patient interview..aiyoyo, hentam sajalah..the comment: I was genuine in the approach but should ask more questions on certain stuff…aite aite! Later balik pegi frankston..joined bengkel utk new HMO’s from Asian..hmm, this was some kinda revision for me n somehow glad that we got the chance to participate..tho i stuffed up at the cardio station:p then the 3 boys who happened to be our next-door's helped us with the unwanted furniture..gentlemen as they were, and a lil bit nutsy,heheh..ade ke nak jadikan mobile beds tuh port utk buat barbeque, dah xde keje gamaknye budak2 nih:p watched PRIDE, japanese series to kill the time..n my hero's a hockey player this time(melting!)..he look abit skinny but charming still;)
thursday, nothing to do till noon..nursing shift again at surgical ward...yup, i didnt get to see or do a lot, bored again..waited for zila at the student quarters till 930pm..it was something, quiet n alone..duhh!! lucky there's tv n computer with net...
friday, lecture at the campus so home sweet home..glad to see everyone else there..zana came to me to say hello .."bagila address ko..nanti aku pegi..cakap jeh ko nak makan ape,aku leh masakkan" yeay yeay!!nih yang best nih*claps in joy* again chatted with adik.."ma kata baru nih pakai baju nih doh"aiyakk, malunye!!

on another note, been trying to upload pics in the fotopages but failed..hmm, buang masa jeh:p

so i went frankston hosp after all ..gee, i know it'll be hard time but when the thing gets tough, the tough gets going...today started at 830am..overwhelming information for the first day of transition*sigh..tomorrow kena pegi ikut nursing shift at the emergency room by 7am..aiyo!die die...

11 ppl in a house..can u imagine that? heheh, involved lotsa charade, karaoke n loud talk..so much fun we had together, wishing that it'll never end..so much of now-i-know-that-u-are-actually-like-this..even the rooms were allocated into bilik solat,bilik gala-time(mine!) n bilik private...but the best thing would be having someone else to cook for me..gehehe:p

safe journey and i braced myself till i left msia..bit tearful in SQ117*sigh*. the flight was ok and we reached melb an hour later coz of bad weather..macam naik roller coaster jeh:p met the other girls at the airport n took maxi(van-like taxi) home..wahh, the house was merrier with a lot of ppl n things,heheh..so another chapter in down under:p had great time with the girls b4 evryone parted away...slept over at my place..horror movies(oh well, my eyes wasnt looking at the monitor most of the time:D)..retail therapy(gehee, best2!!) and almost non-stop talking...

hmm, i didnt say that i'm upset, did i? n i wasnt the word 'funny' that i'm looking for actually..something else maybe...

she's the closest person to me.. though we rarely sit together n talked about my life,n she may not know most of my personal secrets..but i'm strongly attached to her....when i was 11, she was admitted to the hospital due to her heart 'symptoms' but nothing serious actually..only some monitoring procedures...upon knowing that, i clung to my auntie and wept..cried my heart out till a stranger came to us..i know she's not 'that' sick but i was really afraid...of losing her..hmm, i'm not always being good to her..if sumthing didnt go my way..that sulken,i-am-not-talking-to-anyone attitude, and giant mood-swing..big time!!it even happened 2 days before my flight to melb last year..hehehe,resolved with an sms:p thats y i always ask for forgiveness whenever i'm leaving..just to put away the guilty feeling,geheee:p but i think there's a huge improvement this time...kalu setakat setengah hari muka cetung tuh kire ok la kan??

that 2 years-old lil boy who still speaks german..the moment he saw me in his house, running with a smile to hug me...heheh, took care of him when he's 2 months...oh dear! eh sin chan, pandai ye awak..dgn kwn2 girls salam siap cium tgn lagi..tp dgn kwn2 boys boleh buat derk je, salam pun xmau;)

..ppl that i'll miss most... hmm, is parting a sweet sorrow?