...checklist...
- siapkan at least notes PBL n pathology n pharmacology*hyperventilating, i am*
-packing barang(malasnye...hadoi, sape nak tolong ??)
-burnkan pics dlm pc b4 anto g reformat..lembab lembab!
-burnkan pics utk diprint kat mesia nih..sib baik ade voucher;)
-decide on what day nak balik sini balik coz nak tukar date of departure mase kat klia nti ..sabtu ke jumaat..jumaat ke sabtu..
-basuh baju..kemas baju...lalala, malas!
-minta tlg ili hantarkan ke airport sabtu nih...
-ajak kawan2 dtg umah khamis depan;)
-uploadkan pics kat fotopages yg dah berkurun..ehehe
-reload maxis coz dah 0 credit...huh, last time reload burn mcm tuh jeh sbb x leh nak gune..apsal ntah :(
-ingat:camera, jam, pasport,tiket,wedding pressie, cekelat, abah's, ma's, adik's...
-sms akak yg akan passkan tiket kl-kb mase kat klia nti...
-bodek syu utk teman mase kat klia nti..3 jam transit, buhsannnnye!!
-listkan barang ape nak beli kat mesia nti,nyehnyehnyeh!!

haila bile angin malas dtg..mandi pun pukul 1130mlm, erkk!!

i am not trying to be paranoid but i know i have to be extra careful after last friday...

the guilty verdict to the so-called 'wrongly-accused' austral!an for smuggling drugs in bal!..not an avid reader of news, i know little about this...but am aware of the aftermath chaos ..ppl threaten to withdraw or express their regret for donating to the tsunami victims..biased narration about the trial in the radio...racism, welcome back!

may Allah be with us, aminn

once and for all > i'm going back this saturday!<

hmm, this is nothing urgent or last mins decision..i'm going back 2 weeks earlier than my hols for my sis wedding..for some reason i decide to keep it low ( u know, all the going-back-twice-a-year-and-aren't-u-gonna-sit-for-your-exam??-thingy) , but my dear peon 'accidently' announced it:p no worries, at least i know u'r as excited as me to seeing each other again..n yes fatma, mari bertemu!! :p exam?? its formative ( meaning: not gonna be in for the final marks) so i'll sit for it later..

i should n am happy..this is the most long-awaited hols ever..honestly for the past 4 months, i've endured overwhelming emotional torture..n believe me, it aint gonna end soon..so i'm grateful for this lil 'escape'... promised myself to make the most out of it, insya Allah.. tho deep inside,'m bit reluctant to leave my mates behind n go back all alone =(

last friday, got an sms from my sis-in-law..telling that she bought something for the wedding n i was 1st to know... so brother, bohoooo!!! :p the next day another sms asking about my arrival, cant wait to see me;) blessfully loved by my family, i am...

i hope i dont owe an explanation but if u have doubt, it IS for the words said a year ago...'someone who wants to be your fren'.

sabar? heh, rasanya dah byk kali aku sabar..nih kira dah hilang sabar ...pantang aku bile org quit from the conversation mcm tuh jeh..n bile aku bengang, mmg aku akan buat sumthing drastik...aku menyesal pun menyesal la...nak kata emotional pun katalah.., huh!

trying times....n i've got another half of the year to bear with this feeling...from the 1st day in frankston, i struggled emotionally to adjust myself to the changes...wish that i could share how i felt with someone else...the lonng waiting for weekend to come so that i can go back to clayton, counting the days...the lonely nites that make me feel miserable & stop me from doing work...n i do hate myself for being grumpy nonsensely....ya Allah, pls pls make me strong ..

n ppl, i'm sorry for this stupid crappy entry:(

final CL...hehhe, not a big fan of soccer but i did watched l!verpool vs m!lan last nite..was 5am when i woke up..n it was 1-0...watched until half time.3-0. then terlelap, jaga balik dah 3-2..iskk, rugi2!! then tgk sampai abis masa.3-3..tertido, jaga balik tgh penalty kicks, draw 2-2...kalut2 nak solat subuh..tgk2 l!verpool dah menang...ahahahah..wonder how's my 2nd bro doing coz he's a big fan of l!verpool.did smsed him b4 earlier to wish him gud luck..later after the game, smsed my sis-in-law. rupanya seronok sgt sampai nak blanje mkn..ahhh, bestnye!

ingat agi dulu..penah join dia tgk bola..n he's wearing the team's merchandices from head to toes..siap ngan banner...konon2 get ready nak menang..alih2 kalah..ahaha, x berani nak gelak kuat2..gelak dlm hati jelah...sweet memory..

also when he's abroad, he wrote a letter to my late uncle who happened to support MU, nak riak sbb MU kalah...aih, bukannye nak bertanya kabar ke ape:p

lets see what stays in my limited-memory-space..
-peah, niesa n arnee were indeed the 3 stooges, from the early days lagi..so u could've guess how i lost my innocency as i joined them for IRP prog *sheepish smile* (ahahaha, jgn marahh!!)
-i think it was the 1st day of class....seorang hamba Allah pegi belakang klas n duduk atas meja, konon2 nak lepak kot...sekali 'prraaaakkk'..sume org toleh blakang, tgk meja tuh dah senget...LOL...aku mmg gelak x ingat!!
-evening comes, basketball! ahaha, no such things as going from room to room utk ajak org main as we would loudly make the announcement...errr considering the distance from my room to hani's, haagen's, n oni's...okeh, we did sometimes be decent enough to go & knock the door..but most of the time, jerit jeh!
-in the court..where most of the funniest & clumsiest things happened...once we had to use the shoes to get the ball off the board, thanks to peah for that( aku dah terduduk n gelak golek2)...my turn? i stumbled on the ball while running..sib baik x jatuh n patah gigi:D
-dinner was great, not so long queue..good talk(err gossip:) then off me,oni & zila for evening walk..more talk then:p
-peah was always the mastermind behind all the crazy ideas...coz she has this oh-dont-u-wanna-believe-this-innocent-face aura..n as usual, i excused myself from being part of it coz b4 anything, i giggled already...kalu nak join jugak, i'll make sure that i kept my mouth shut otherwise would spoil the plan!..hnss hnss
-another entertaining episodes were during class presentations..BM class was always hillarious..there's this particular group presentation n i was sitting next to Pn Azizah, laughing like hienna(err xdela mcm tuh skali :p)...ppl in other classes must've thot that we've gone crazy...
-yerp, i remembered 'mak'nenye di sini..begitulah', 'the wrong', ever-green quotes from ustaz sulor. munakahad classes managed to keep us awake with all the intra-class arranged marriages..LOL, gossip gossip!!
-niesa & i , plus some other ppl, doing charade from the famous movies & laughing at ourselves..crazy, we are!!..."anyone, anyone?? no one..." cepat teka cite ape tuh:p
-yup, room F210 was the med-3 port.. spent endless hour there ..rambble almost anything under the sun...from good lame jokes to heated discussion about sisters-in-the-family dilemma..so mind u, relationship isnt our sole issue of talk :p awa intentionally taped one of the session, full or laugh & charades..wonder does she still keep it??
-okeh, out of boredom while waiting for a tray food, me n hani enganged ourselves main 'peace'..hahahahha, kiddies!
- birthday bash: nikmun & ani well-drenched (separate celebrations)..i accidently watered hani's bed (opsss,geheheh!) peah ended up her time in the toilet from the egg's:p awa was well-powdered..hani & niesa tasted the saltiest orange drink ever..awa n me had our faces painted with choc icing(hahah, jerawat jerawat!)...
- imagine this..last class b4 lunch, hamba Allah nih selalu ngelat dari baca doa b4 start klas..skali hari tuh dia kena baca..know what he recited? "allahuma baariklana fima..' ya Allah,senak perut tahan gelak:p
- one of my fav pic-me, oni,aida,alin sitting on the corridor floor...good talk, wat else;)
-satu malam tuh, pegi bilik nuna..bodek2 dia utk buat air nescafe..then off i went to hani's ( i'm such a parasites!!)..bla bla bla we talked.."opsss, alamak air nescafe" aiyo, rupanya nuna dah penat carik aku...sejuk dah pun air tuh...ya ampunnn!!
-universal port utk berborak..ironing board. had my time there...oni, anne, med-3 clans, u name it:p
-yes, i'm scared to sleep alone..weekends come when my roomate's away, shar would be there for me..well, literally coz she's busy with study room & phone at nite:p nway didnt matter as long as i had the lights on & knew she'll be in the room sooner or later:p
-'ranjau sepanjang jalan' play? will need an another entry,hahahha...highlight of the 2 years..but my fav part would be-arnee & oni's scene as mami2 jarum, also the aditional scene of tok bomoh....err "makk, semek dah pandai ikat kain!!" LOL

now peah, we MUST talk once we had the chance...

*edited*
i attempted to write the nostalgic moments during my college years, as did by peah..but why oh why, i 've got this rotten memory,sigh..but i remember that i laugh a lot back then, its like vague images of hilarious faces .. i bet writing blog during those time was much easier and fun, that i have the jolly good ppl around me..to keep me talking (yes, i talked to many ppl back then) & entertained...n like i said earlier its all vague now, so when my dear fren is actually 'replaying' the moments of mine, i'm deeply touched...anyhow, i'll make another attempt later, i promise...i'm off to take a short break;)

sorry, this post might be a bit emo....

read peah's recent entry with teary eyes n wide smile...only God knows how much i miss them...hani-niesa-arnee-peah-rose-ain-nuna-syaf-ani-awa-nikmun-peini, each and everyone of them...the sisterhood, i'll never find it anywhere else...this overwhelming emotion, my hands are indeed trembling...
then...i dont give a damn about the opposite sex, my life revolved around me & my girlfrens...i did make the most out of the frenship...i shared the tears & laugh...i am truly myself & worry not about other's perception...i laugh a lot and i care a lot...study is the only thing that i need to worry about...
now, i'm stuck with my very own mistakes...i mind my own bussiness & become ignorant of other ppl...i've lost count of i-am-feeling-blues....i am grateful but at the same time, longing and missing...sigh...

a-sentence-entry? nothing more to say, that is...not that i'm occupied or lazy to think:)..................................................................... omg, i'm struggling with words again...yelp!!*sigh*

last saturday, mini bbq of 5 at r0yal b0tan!cal garden.. well, stuffed ourselves with not-even-half-of-the-prepared-'chicken wing percik'-n-sosej...ohh, n the coleslaw?? "hmmmm, sebijik aa rasa cam yg dekat C0le's tuh..terer korang!"hahahaha, cynical:p pastu bakar jeh lebih, makan bape ketul jeh sorang....baru mkn sekeping roti +sosej dah kenyang,rugi2!!...nway we had lotsa fun..mkn2 sambil borak2..then ade satu famili yg bbq kat sbelah tmpt ktrg...overheard this

"have u heard of this book 'a grumpy old man'? i think they should make it 'a grumpy young boy''

dad said to his son..i smiled & laugh quietly, how true it is:p nway we stayed till dark..laughed over our so-called summer hols plan...alahai, berangan no satu yer cik zar!n:p we'll see how things go eh;) on our way to the city after that..

ann:hehe, xpe..lps nih xdela bising kata tringin nak bbq dah...cukup dah skali
me: tuhla, byk tul beli...5 kg kan?
ann:haaa, 5 kg tuh ayam jeh, belum sosej lagi..
me:laa,ye ke.aku ingatkan dgn sosej skali. bistu sosej bape kg plak?
ann: x ingat..2 kilo kot...xde, ayam tuh tgh sale, murah jeh...5kg for $ 7..
me: huhhh korang nih..agaknye kalu ade ayam offer utk 10 kilo, 10 kilo jugakla korang beli...

haa, kan dah gelak cam nak pecah keta...ampehhnye! lama tul x bergelak ketawa camnih..pegi lygon st beli 'gelati' eskrem...yeay yeay, durian n roche..sedap! tp rasanya durian tuh kena catu sbb sket jeh dpt,pbbttt! then jln2 kat city..nitelife;) exhibition centre & crown...err window shopping skali la..also there's this dance game, selalu tgk dlm cite jepun or cina..nti tgk gambar eh;)

half-laugh.half-quiet.

i am to write about the girls' day out yesterday but....

flaws. way too many. some are unjustified, shame on me.'nobody's perfect', perfect! nevertheless, i hope & pray hard so that as years pass by, the flaws're gone or at least doing better.so that i'm pleasant enough to be part of ppl's life.

quiet.

Someone falls to pieces
Sleeping all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
She finally drifts away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave

Yeahhh...
And to be yourself is all that you can do
Heyyyy...
To be yourself is all that you can do

Someone finds salvation in everyone
Another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside himself he breathes
Someone swears his true love
Until the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united?
Empty or insane?

And to be yourself is all that you can do
Yeahhh...
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
Heyyyy...
Be yourself is all that you can do

Even when you've paid enough
Been put upon or been held up
Every single memory of the good or bad
Faces of love
Don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose
But to be yourself is all that you can do

Yeahhh...

To be yourself is all that you can do
Ohhhh...
To be yourself is all that you can do

Whoaaa...
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can--
Be yourself is all that you can--
Be yourself is all that you can do

*thanks.tried to keep these words in my mind.after all, i'm all that i have;)

...i keep myself busy,doing the never-gonna-finish stuff...cold is still there with the changing weather, hmmmm...blocked nose, lil bit of temperature & thank-God no headache this time, otherwise i got it bad...still, no drugs this time & not gonna get one either...coz i'll end up finishing the whole papan without getting any better..or errr maybe just for short relief...heheh, shuldnt call my mum in the next few days, otherwise i might be obliged to see a doc, syyhhh!! hahah, n the fact that i'm trying to drink as much water as possible to help with the cold, getting sick of going to the toilet, bbrrr....need to buy another bottle of honey, which i'm happy to take it;)

...not much highlight in my life nowadays. quiet.

a fren.one of the toughest time in life.'m doing no good. courage's gone.but i'll be praying from afar.be strong.

...huarghhhh, selsema datang lagi dgn sakit dan gatal2 hidung. xnak ubat, nak tido...

i'm a-ok again, alhamdulillahh..oh well, the beauty of being woman(or human??)...the ups and downs..feeling blues about own's life...bla bla bla..

********************************************

few days ago...

"ma,n*r nih..."

"kenapa suara tuh? demam ke?"

"hehehe dakla...tgh tidur"

"haa dah tido, pukul brape tuh? kite baru nak magrib kat sini"

"err kul 9,hehehe.. bla bla bla..ma, happy mother's day!!"

"ohh hehe, thank u thank u. i love u"

"=) i love u too, miss u...huhuh, nak balik. cepatlaaa"

"hahahahha..."

good wishes under the quilt..7pm-6am, hows that???*angkat2 kening* ...guess it'll be mother's day-plus-birthday present, again...

***********************************************

"ko bile lagi...bla bla bla..jual mahal sgt kot"

*huh*" aku mcm biasa jeh rasanya..x sombong, x gatal"

"bla bla bla..tp jgnla memilih sgt"

sh*t...cant accept that..i mean wat sort of 'jual mahal' u r referring here? i now i dont have good history but pls, keep that accusation to urself at least...insya Allah, i know wat i'm doing & keep on praying for my future and obviously i dont need that kinda words from u or anyone else, again!

selamat berpijak di bumi yang nyata=)

...happy mother's day,ma. i wish i'm home*sigh...

...temporary, sigh...

been quite some time since i last wrote more-than-a-sentence entry....hmm, cant comment on that..i'm fine, thats a sure!

one thing leads to another and tadaaa, miracle happens....'ve been hearing lots about this since years ago..n rite now 'm pretty sure most of my frens if not all are experiencing the sweetest time in their life....looks like ppl are moving, fast! big liar to say this thing never bugs me...often if not always:) errr, i'm struggling for words so to keep it short~my prayers will always be with them, may all the happiness lasts...

... countdown, yesssss!! eheh, the only thing that keeps me going for now:((

..my body's not functioning very well lately, sigh...

how's thing?? pretty good;) guess i'll try to keep it this way till next month or so..cant afford to be cranky n off-mood, need to re-prioritise:p ...i see no point in pondering wistfully over the past, move on with life!...also, so much things to look forward, i'm all excited!! errr, am i making any sense here??
basketball +netball t+fusion class +weekend in evelyn st+occasional outings with frens+phone calls to my parents & sis=happy!
so now, where's my fish(es)??:p