not another drama queen episode...
you are right. i was the one who gave up on things without knowing ur reasons. and may i add that i was the one who created arguments and made big fuss over stuff. so its actually me who is troublesome, never knows how to appreciate things and ignorant over other ppl's concerns and probs. i've been selfish all this while and i'm so ashamed of myself.never would i know that being straightforward can actually mislead because wrongly used words and end up accusing u harshly. put the blame on me coz i make u feel not good enough for a frenship.wish i could say more than sorry..
if u are to hate me for this, i understand.i failed to be a good fren.before i stop, there are things i'd like to thank u; for being there to cheer me up whenever i'm feeling down, for putting up with my temperamental attitude and never complain and for trying to do good to me. life would never be the same then...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
TONITE...
is my last nite in melbourne before flying home for summer hols insya Allah..looking back, this is the most ENRICHING year so far and i can proudly say that i'm a SURVIVOR in the journey..those who's been reading this for the past year would have the idea why i said that..quoted from A,how time flies fast this year and franskston is now history to me..what started as resented placement had filled me with great satisfaction and sweet memories..
yes, there were a lot of trying times and emotional breakdown was part of the viscious cycle..up to a point, i almost lost grip=( but there were always be someone around the globe who reminded me that never would i be alone in this journey..and i couldnt thank them enough..and Allah will never test HIS servant for nothing..
throughout, i metamorphed..mistakes learnt, flaws accepted, people appreciated and to HIM i surrender myself...no matter how trying time it is, i managed to survive,alhamdulillahh..
i know i've hurt a lot of ppl for my bad temper and ignorant..egoist i can be but deep inside, guilty conscience wins its way..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i owe my great time in frankston especially to these 3 blokes..for all their non-judgemental respect, charming smile, brotherly concern and dogdy-but-laughable jokes i will miss them..
also to all the tutors: Serpell, Langton, Botha, Russell, CLeves, O'Donnell, Wassertheil, Fiddes..thank you so much!
p/s..pls pray for my safe journey..anything, reach me through my no.
is my last nite in melbourne before flying home for summer hols insya Allah..looking back, this is the most ENRICHING year so far and i can proudly say that i'm a SURVIVOR in the journey..those who's been reading this for the past year would have the idea why i said that..quoted from A,how time flies fast this year and franskston is now history to me..what started as resented placement had filled me with great satisfaction and sweet memories..
yes, there were a lot of trying times and emotional breakdown was part of the viscious cycle..up to a point, i almost lost grip=( but there were always be someone around the globe who reminded me that never would i be alone in this journey..and i couldnt thank them enough..and Allah will never test HIS servant for nothing..
throughout, i metamorphed..mistakes learnt, flaws accepted, people appreciated and to HIM i surrender myself...no matter how trying time it is, i managed to survive,alhamdulillahh..
i know i've hurt a lot of ppl for my bad temper and ignorant..egoist i can be but deep inside, guilty conscience wins its way..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i owe my great time in frankston especially to these 3 blokes..for all their non-judgemental respect, charming smile, brotherly concern and dogdy-but-laughable jokes i will miss them..
also to all the tutors: Serpell, Langton, Botha, Russell, CLeves, O'Donnell, Wassertheil, Fiddes..thank you so much!
p/s..pls pray for my safe journey..anything, reach me through my no.
Rescue 999!!!
erkkk yelppp!!..used to have my mum backk home for the past 2 years and M has been helping me to do it (she did 90% of the task actually) when she's around this year..now that M is already in msia, nobody's gonna be there me this time..no, i'm not trying to be bossy but i do have probs with it..yeah, i did try but things usually wont fit in all and when its time to unload, they will be all over the place, huwaa!! thats why i prefer ma or M to do it for me..neat n spacious..
this morning, started to sort things out, which and where..end up with piles of stuff on the bed and an empty bag..huhuhu, i grumbled to myself a few times and hopelessly looked at the bag. urgh, i dont mind spring cleaning the closet and drawers but ..what should i do next??
Z: mcm nih...ko masukkan dulu brg2 nak bawak balik dlm beg..
Y: laaa, cemana?? xkan nak campak2 jeh?
Z: xdela..ko masukkan jehla dulu...pastu letak tepi..then dah abis kemas yg kat umah nih susunla balik benda dlm beg tuh..
Z: ohhhhhhhh....
grrr, wonder how did i survive my years in ser! puter! and KMB doing this for every hols?? isk!
erkkk yelppp!!..used to have my mum backk home for the past 2 years and M has been helping me to do it (she did 90% of the task actually) when she's around this year..now that M is already in msia, nobody's gonna be there me this time..no, i'm not trying to be bossy but i do have probs with it..yeah, i did try but things usually wont fit in all and when its time to unload, they will be all over the place, huwaa!! thats why i prefer ma or M to do it for me..neat n spacious..
this morning, started to sort things out, which and where..end up with piles of stuff on the bed and an empty bag..huhuhu, i grumbled to myself a few times and hopelessly looked at the bag. urgh, i dont mind spring cleaning the closet and drawers but ..what should i do next??
Z: mcm nih...ko masukkan dulu brg2 nak bawak balik dlm beg..
Y: laaa, cemana?? xkan nak campak2 jeh?
Z: xdela..ko masukkan jehla dulu...pastu letak tepi..then dah abis kemas yg kat umah nih susunla balik benda dlm beg tuh..
Z: ohhhhhhhh....
grrr, wonder how did i survive my years in ser! puter! and KMB doing this for every hols?? isk!
Thursday, November 24, 2005
B!C RUNGA-courtesy of Onie
She left on a Monday
She's a siren down the road
In your herringbone overcoat
That you don't expect to get back
And it's an ordinary sky
Today's like any other day
When all of the aeroplanes
Write her name in the clouds
And nothing's wrong
But it's already Sunday
And you know just how Sunday
Was the day that she would come around?
Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her
It's all like sinking
You're trying to stay afloat
Like a wind blown paper boat
Over uncharted sea
There's no question why
You're driving to kill some time
Racing the power lines
Back into town
Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her
Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
p/s..nice song..go listen
She left on a Monday
She's a siren down the road
In your herringbone overcoat
That you don't expect to get back
And it's an ordinary sky
Today's like any other day
When all of the aeroplanes
Write her name in the clouds
And nothing's wrong
But it's already Sunday
And you know just how Sunday
Was the day that she would come around?
Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her
It's all like sinking
You're trying to stay afloat
Like a wind blown paper boat
Over uncharted sea
There's no question why
You're driving to kill some time
Racing the power lines
Back into town
Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her
Go to her foolish man
What's the use of having pride if you don't have her?
She'll endure all she can
But you could make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
Make this easier on her
p/s..nice song..go listen
=)
alhamdulillah, i'm done with the OSCE exam...woke up with throbbing pain on my head,thought that i would screw up if the exam was in the morning..tried to sleep on the pain again and soaked my head with water (mum's tips)..then had my breakfast and took some painkillers..alhamdulillah, by the time to go to CMHSE, the pain wasnt as bad...
12 stations of 8 mins each...i'm not really at my top spirit to perform..just wanna get it over with..again, Allah helped me A LOT..solace and guidance..HE didnt put me in panic situation that i can think well and answer the questions as best as i can. also, the examiners' were nice and not of the stern-looking-faces-that-freaks-me-out...i know i may not be doing as thoroughly as its supposed to be, but thats the best i can do..and i have faith in Allah...
now, apart from praying hard for the results, i'm gonna occupy myself with
-my mates here. laze around, go out and cherish our time
-updates on the fotopages for raya pics
-spring cleaning of the house and wardrobe
-shopping spree
-do a checklist;)
ok, gonna make a lil announcement...teng teng teng!
i'm going back to msia this 28hb..wheeeeee!! special shout out to
hani-izhar:weh, balik christmas kan? jumpa yok!!
peon:yeay, bolehlepak dgn ko lagi..harituh kejap sgt laa;)
peah: i know u care about me..so u wont nag me for this, rite?? *muka sememeh minta dikasihani*
erkkk, do i hear someone screaming my name out loud?? better run and hide myself =p
alhamdulillah, i'm done with the OSCE exam...woke up with throbbing pain on my head,thought that i would screw up if the exam was in the morning..tried to sleep on the pain again and soaked my head with water (mum's tips)..then had my breakfast and took some painkillers..alhamdulillah, by the time to go to CMHSE, the pain wasnt as bad...
12 stations of 8 mins each...i'm not really at my top spirit to perform..just wanna get it over with..again, Allah helped me A LOT..solace and guidance..HE didnt put me in panic situation that i can think well and answer the questions as best as i can. also, the examiners' were nice and not of the stern-looking-faces-that-freaks-me-out...i know i may not be doing as thoroughly as its supposed to be, but thats the best i can do..and i have faith in Allah...
now, apart from praying hard for the results, i'm gonna occupy myself with
-
-
-
-
-
ok, gonna make a lil announcement...teng teng teng!
i'm going back to msia this 28hb..wheeeeee!! special shout out to
hani-izhar:weh, balik christmas kan? jumpa yok!!
peon:yeay, bolehlepak dgn ko lagi..harituh kejap sgt laa;)
peah: i know u care about me..so u wont nag me for this, rite?? *muka sememeh minta dikasihani*
erkkk, do i hear someone screaming my name out loud?? better run and hide myself =p
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
HEADACHE
I dont know why but seems like i've been suffering from this pain for a few times lately. its not the usual headache that self-limiting. ok, this one may not be as bad as the last time but it still bother me coz it HURTS...how to describe the pain?
'rasa macam ade angin dlm kepala..berdenyut gile...everytime stand up or bendkan kepala..otak macam disqueeze byk2 kali...badan akan seram sejuk..kekadang rasa macam ade ruang kosong dlm skull...mmg akan demam kalu biar jeh sakit tuh..'
it could be the heat of summer...it could be the late meals...it could be the pressure..it could be anything
biarlahh...
I dont know why but seems like i've been suffering from this pain for a few times lately. its not the usual headache that self-limiting. ok, this one may not be as bad as the last time but it still bother me coz it HURTS...how to describe the pain?
'rasa macam ade angin dlm kepala..berdenyut gile...everytime stand up or bendkan kepala..otak macam disqueeze byk2 kali...badan akan seram sejuk..kekadang rasa macam ade ruang kosong dlm skull...mmg akan demam kalu biar jeh sakit tuh..'
it could be the heat of summer...it could be the late meals...it could be the pressure..it could be anything
biarlahh...
Monday, November 21, 2005
HOW WAS IT?
the questions were..how should i say..tough and tricky??. couldnt think of any other words that better described the written exam this morning...why?
- it was an extended multiple-choice questions (EMQ) where we had a cluster of questions with a long list of possible answers.some of the choices given were up to X or Y..so you really have to choose the BEST answer for each scenarios..and mind you, the descriptions were very much similar to each other.even if they were not, we still need to think hard for the obscure ones..jargon? countless=(
- it tested our knowledge for the WHOLE year..and studying the integrated system of medicine means we've got every possible things to be asked in the exam..if this question was on clinical, the next one might be on pathology..and the next one? pharmacology..huhuh..and for this time around, we had whole lot of surgical and medical rotation to cover..yes, u can argue that we've much less exam period (like this time it was only a week) but the pressure? triple if not quadriple..
- personally, this exam was no more about how much we can memorise things but rather tested ur understanding on the particular topic. we can no longer rely on the basic knowledge about this illness and its clinical presentation but of how it happen and every details bits of everything..tough? u bet..
- yes, we know that there'll be a lot of past years' from the experiences but sadly, we dont get hold of the papers. so no matter how much we listen to the seniors about which topic to focus on,it will still be very broad..and yes, this is the only written exam that carry marks for our 3rd year final assesment *sigh*...
having said all that,i've given my best shot for this exam. eventho there's minor panic attack last saturday coz i was behind my revision plan and some nagging thought at the back of my head,alhamdulillah i managed to get it over with. i owed it to the short meaningful sms replies from my families and good wishes from other ppl. but most importantly is the Al-Mighty.Allah helps me to pull this thru with HIS endless guidance and bestowed me with solace before and while doing the exam...alhamdulillahh. things wouldnt be the same without HIM by my side. berkat doa parents n semua yang lain;) as quoted from abg ngah' 50% dari ape yg ngah dapat sekarang nih daripada ma dan abah' and i felt the same way too..all in all, done my best so its time to pray and tawakkal..
exam habit? for as long as i can remember, i never fancy any discussion outside the exam hall...before sitting for the paper, i prefer to sit alone at a corner than joining the crowd to avoid unnecessary panic attack..and after the exam? its already done so no point in going over it again i reckon..so i'd leave the place as quietly as possible. another habit would be the uncompromised sleep. yep, i can let go of my meals (not that often tho:p) and leisure things but not this one. my brain stop ticking after midnite. sometimes i do feel that i'm disadvantage from extra study hours but i've no complaint for this=)
post-entry
i had nightmate about the paper last nite...urghhh!!
the questions were..how should i say..tough and tricky??. couldnt think of any other words that better described the written exam this morning...why?
- it was an extended multiple-choice questions (EMQ) where we had a cluster of questions with a long list of possible answers.some of the choices given were up to X or Y..so you really have to choose the BEST answer for each scenarios..and mind you, the descriptions were very much similar to each other.even if they were not, we still need to think hard for the obscure ones..jargon? countless=(
- it tested our knowledge for the WHOLE year..and studying the integrated system of medicine means we've got every possible things to be asked in the exam..if this question was on clinical, the next one might be on pathology..and the next one? pharmacology..huhuh..and for this time around, we had whole lot of surgical and medical rotation to cover..yes, u can argue that we've much less exam period (like this time it was only a week) but the pressure? triple if not quadriple..
- personally, this exam was no more about how much we can memorise things but rather tested ur understanding on the particular topic. we can no longer rely on the basic knowledge about this illness and its clinical presentation but of how it happen and every details bits of everything..tough? u bet..
- yes, we know that there'll be a lot of past years' from the experiences but sadly, we dont get hold of the papers. so no matter how much we listen to the seniors about which topic to focus on,it will still be very broad..and yes, this is the only written exam that carry marks for our 3rd year final assesment *sigh*...
having said all that,i've given my best shot for this exam. eventho there's minor panic attack last saturday coz i was behind my revision plan and some nagging thought at the back of my head,alhamdulillah i managed to get it over with. i owed it to the short meaningful sms replies from my families and good wishes from other ppl. but most importantly is the Al-Mighty.Allah helps me to pull this thru with HIS endless guidance and bestowed me with solace before and while doing the exam...alhamdulillahh. things wouldnt be the same without HIM by my side. berkat doa parents n semua yang lain;) as quoted from abg ngah' 50% dari ape yg ngah dapat sekarang nih daripada ma dan abah' and i felt the same way too..all in all, done my best so its time to pray and tawakkal..
exam habit? for as long as i can remember, i never fancy any discussion outside the exam hall...before sitting for the paper, i prefer to sit alone at a corner than joining the crowd to avoid unnecessary panic attack..and after the exam? its already done so no point in going over it again i reckon..so i'd leave the place as quietly as possible. another habit would be the uncompromised sleep. yep, i can let go of my meals (not that often tho:p) and leisure things but not this one. my brain stop ticking after midnite. sometimes i do feel that i'm disadvantage from extra study hours but i've no complaint for this=)
post-entry
i had nightmate about the paper last nite...urghhh!!
Friday, November 18, 2005
NICE LITTLE BREAK
40 mins on the phone with him was really nothing. we talked like nobody's bussiness. started off with him asking about my return, rambling about this movies and that games.... i teased him when i asked whether he has any gf. its funny how he sheepishly changed the expression from 'kawan baik perempuan' to 'kawannn' and i laughed hard by then. next was the AF gossips...i dont have any idea how he managed to know a lot about it, seriously.. then he amused me with his passion about football, chanted a few names that i wouldnt know..recited the www dot liverpoolfc dot com thingy when i asked about his steven gerrard..haihhh, he's way too errr young for that *geleng kepala*..
we day-dreamed if we ever have the chance to travel to UK or london, as he put it;) him chasing the photograph of the soccer players and me going shopping..lalala would be fun!! "nanti kalu sesat macam mana?" "alaaa, syakir kan pandai cakap omputeh.u can ask for direction"..
and i took the chance to tease him(again!) about the food he can't take after his 'big event'..
"aaaaaaaaaa, brape lama xleh makan tuh??"
ohh, i love my 8-year-old-nephew xoxo
40 mins on the phone with him was really nothing. we talked like nobody's bussiness. started off with him asking about my return, rambling about this movies and that games.... i teased him when i asked whether he has any gf. its funny how he sheepishly changed the expression from 'kawan baik perempuan' to 'kawannn' and i laughed hard by then. next was the AF gossips...i dont have any idea how he managed to know a lot about it, seriously.. then he amused me with his passion about football, chanted a few names that i wouldnt know..recited the www dot liverpoolfc dot com thingy when i asked about his steven gerrard..haihhh, he's way too errr young for that *geleng kepala*..
we day-dreamed if we ever have the chance to travel to UK or london, as he put it;) him chasing the photograph of the soccer players and me going shopping..lalala would be fun!! "nanti kalu sesat macam mana?" "alaaa, syakir kan pandai cakap omputeh.u can ask for direction"..
and i took the chance to tease him(again!) about the food he can't take after his 'big event'..
"aaaaaaaaaa, brape lama xleh makan tuh??"
ohh, i love my 8-year-old-nephew xoxo
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Thursday, November 03, 2005
CRANKY WISDOM TOOTH
'Kak yatt tak tido ke?'
'Ohh tido..kejap jeh..xleh tido...sakit gigi'
seriously tak best...since semalam lg dah sakit tp by the time nak tido, which is around 3am dah ok dah..tp pukul 5 terjaga sbb panas and sakit..terus xleh tido..*sigh* so much for the hari raya..
i dont really mind if its not for the food i'm aiming to feast on;) especially the long-craving satay that we managed to prepare last nite..
*off with lil-bit-of-bad-mood-due-to-lacking-sleep.DND?*
'Kak yatt tak tido ke?'
'Ohh tido..kejap jeh..xleh tido...sakit gigi'
seriously tak best...since semalam lg dah sakit tp by the time nak tido, which is around 3am dah ok dah..tp pukul 5 terjaga sbb panas and sakit..terus xleh tido..*sigh* so much for the hari raya..
i dont really mind if its not for the food i'm aiming to feast on;) especially the long-craving satay that we managed to prepare last nite..
*off with lil-bit-of-bad-mood-due-to-lacking-sleep.DND?*
NAK BALIKKKKK...
yesterday was our last terawikh and this morning had our last sahur for his Ramadhan. yes, i'm going to miss this holy month..may Allah gives me the chance to experience it again next year, insya Allah..
called home twice today.. huhuhu, my heart suddenly yearned to be with those familiar faces..to enjoy those familiar laughter and to share the beauty of familyhood. hmm, another price to pay for choosing to study abroad i guess..
mental imagination while on the phone: syakir tgh main games dgn abg ipar..abg long, cik yah, ayah mie and ayah zie(later substituted by abg ngah) main scrabble (level-up?) ...adui, sure macam2 kutukan n lawak yg keluar tuh..semua dah jadik mak n bapa org tp perangai ya Allahh..heheh...abg yu plak jd tukang tengok and tukang gelak ...mesti meriah punyelah rumah tuh..bising jehh..huhuh..man-man aka sinchan tgh main dgn toys dia..sombong taknak ckp tefon..abah n ma were occupied with some other stuff...but lucky we had this technology that let me view them online just now..ohh, missing my loved ones=(
hmm, alhamdulillah raya this year is much better than the previous year. tho i'm not really looking forward for the celebration, at least i've got no reason to be overly-sad..i'd say the highlight of my raya will be to hear abah's takbir through the phone..
and to all ...
SELAMAT HARI RAYA
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN
MAY ALLAH BLESS US
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
*SIGH IN RELIEF*
i'm FINALLY done with my notes-typing. huhuhu, it's been bugging me for the past 2 weeks or so and became one of the reason for my restlessness..but alhamdulillah, managed to finish it within my aim. reason? coz i wanna print them out for free at the hospital tomorrow.hehehe. yup, as non-so-relevant-reason as it can be..but care not, its called personal satisfaction..ohh i'm supposed to be able to finish it by yesterday but blame my sleepy head :p
but the down side of it is- run out of idea to write here..hmmm, cant think of anything instantaneous and my earlier thought is no longer appealing..alahaii =(
at this point of time, i'm having good tempation to laze around on my bed, A & M are busy studying for their final exam tomorrow (great, EId's eve:p) and all of us are listening to raya songs. ohh, i attempted to give hints/suggestions of what to focus for their exam based on my previous experiences but errr seemed like i confused them even more...haihhh, so much for an average student.
not gonna wish the famous greetings yet.
*off to become ayam golek*
i'm FINALLY done with my notes-typing. huhuhu, it's been bugging me for the past 2 weeks or so and became one of the reason for my restlessness..but alhamdulillah, managed to finish it within my aim. reason? coz i wanna print them out for free at the hospital tomorrow.hehehe. yup, as non-so-relevant-reason as it can be..but care not, its called personal satisfaction..ohh i'm supposed to be able to finish it by yesterday but blame my sleepy head :p
but the down side of it is- run out of idea to write here..hmmm, cant think of anything instantaneous and my earlier thought is no longer appealing..alahaii =(
at this point of time, i'm having good tempation to laze around on my bed, A & M are busy studying for their final exam tomorrow (great, EId's eve:p) and all of us are listening to raya songs. ohh, i attempted to give hints/suggestions of what to focus for their exam based on my previous experiences but errr seemed like i confused them even more...haihhh, so much for an average student.
not gonna wish the famous greetings yet.
*off to become ayam golek*
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