Next time?

today's for reality check..

There are a few things i'd like to do more actually, namely examine the kids and talk with the consultants. i dunno, for some reason i thought i didnt spend much time practising my skills on the patients. either caught up with other stuff to do or plain laziness. yes, the i-couldnt-be-bothered attitude i mentioned earlier. its like early in the morning with the doctors, i would make a mental note to at least see this and this patients. later i just...did not proceed with the plan. hmmmm, its hard.

i didnt know about other ppl, but i personally had this problem of being proactive here. maybe the feeling of minority sort of put me down and stop me from chasing opportunities. i changed to become timid and inferior on-and-off. i chose to observe and then look things up, instead of promptly asked the superior doctors. its not the reply of ' i'm the one who should be asking you this..' that stop me all the time, though sometimes it did cos it made me thought 'ohh, maybe i havent read enough'.. but i guess it's more of my own lacking courage to do so. in a way, its not a big deal as ppl always said' u'll remember more if u learn it by urself' but i dont know..i guess, it's the balance.