Mixed

i (hope) i'm done with the battle for this year's medicine. the exams were over, tried my very best despite lacking of motivation towards the end of it. i know i deserved some rewards for being able to pull myself off and came this far. things has never been easier, but i managed. Praise to Allah.

i have this mixed feelings. i am euphoric to go home. i so can't wait to spend time with my beloved family and friends, to meet my 2 little heroes for the first time, to eat out as much as i can. a lot of ppl are expecting and waiting for my return and i hope my presence soon will make up for the loss of memories all this while. yes, i am very much happy and contented in that sense.

but there's some nagging feelings at the back of my head. i am afraid to face the fact that this is going to be the few remaining days to spend with the final years. they've been a really GROOVY and FUN-To-BE-WITH bunch of girls, full of vibes!! i am thankful for the chance to know and get closer to them this year but to think that there'll be no more of them next year scares me a bit. uhuk=( having said that, i know i've done my best. i know i've been enjoying myself and i know i am appreciating our time while it lasts.

not even the loss that took place a few hours earlier today snatched away my laugh while playing 'charade' at the bridal shower celebration. no, i didnt let. i am sad and sorry for whatever that happened but again, i believe i've done my best and that matters most to me now. i didnt wish for time-machine to go back and un-do my mistakes, i accept what's done is done. i didnt wish for another chance either, it'll be too cruel to ask for.

also the fact that i'm actually coming home to an almost empty house as my parents are leaving in 3 days' time for Hajj. yes, i'm this worried and anxious at the thought of something might happen to them and i'll forever be missing them. but later i learnt, i only have ALLAH to ask for . i will pray for their health and so that i will be able to see them again. i believe in Allah and i know HE will never let me down.