cos of the news/rumours this morning, my hols came to its end.damn sad and confused. tears couldnt find their way and i couldnt bring myself to look into the eyes. not hatred but i wish i never got asked about it. SIGH. i hate to be noble and i hate to pretend..i am one hell of selfish and if this news is to be true, i am damned for life.

life has been really really good to me for the past week. wish i've written the experiences earlier so that it'll be full of joy and contentment. staying home and caring for the 3 lil boys of nephew and cousins...balik kg, met the old folks, played with lil cousins and ate my fav dish...reunited with my childhood fren whom i last saw in form 3 and just got married last saturday, catched up with things.all breeze for me. life was soooooo perfect that last nite, i thot it couldnt be true. life couldnt be this smooth and there need to be something bad. just when i thot, it then happened..

i soo wanna erase the conversation. i soooo wanna be invisible. i soooo wanna pour it all. but the decision isnt mine tho. no matter how much i hate it, it still can happen and i'll be damned for life.

quiet.