The day i know i CAN'T do child psychiatric

it's too heart-wrenching for me. it reminded me so much of him.

i was after a case study for psych and T was the best candidate, said the doctor. the moment i was showed to T , i thought of him. few years older but went through similar drama in life. i saw him in T. the pain. the confusion. the fear. the lost. almost everything.

more than once, i lost words because i was caught up in my own thought. i kept on talking, while all i wanted to do was actually give T a hug and said that everything will be fine. later, i went to read T's notes and had it not be i was in the ward, i would've cried.

later when the doctor said
' try to put yourself in his shoes, how would you felt?'
i dont have to imagine that doctor, because i've been dealing with one for the past 4 years. with him.

its not something i can bear to look at everyday.